‘Discussing my HIV status on I Kissed a Boy wasn’t the plan – but it felt right’

I Kissed A Boy star Adam Williams writes exclusively for PinkNews about his time on the hit BBC dating series, which saw him open up about living with HIV…

I always wanted to find a way to share my story and talk about living with HIV. I didn’t think it would be on a TV show watched by millions. But looking back on my experience in the masseria, the way it happened just seemed right. 

I’d had it all mapped out differently in my head: maybe I’d tell one person I’d made a connection with quietly, one-to-one, and leave it at that.

But when Lars shared his story, something clicked. I felt inspired. And more than that, I felt responsible. Responsible in the sense that if I had the chance to help someone feel less alone, I had to take it. So, I sat down with the boys and told them.

Coming out about my HIV status was terrifying. I had no idea how they’d react. But their response was everything I could have hoped for: warm, kind and deeply human. They listened, they saw me. And in that moment, I felt an incredible wave of relief. It was emotional, raw and one of the most powerful moments of my life.

I was diagnosed when I was still pretty young. Back then, I looked for stories of people like me. But all I could find were older voices. Brave, yes, but not ones I could personally relate to. I felt completely alone.

That isolation stuck with me, and I knew if I ever got the chance to use my story to change that for someone else, I would.

Still, I never imagined that chance would come through a dating show on national TV. I never set out to be a reality TV star – it’s a weird label to wear – but I’m grateful for what it’s given me in terms of confidence, healing and a whole new community.

Since the episode aired, my DMs have been full of people sharing their stories: young people, scared people, people newly diagnosed or afraid of what’s next. It’s been overwhelming in the best way.

It’s shown me just how much we still need to talk about HIV.

When I was diagnosed, my family were my rocks. I was ill, visibly unwell, so I didn’t have the option to hide it. I told them, then my closest friends, and that was it for a while. But their support, as well as that from organisations such as the Terrence Higgins Trust and Positive East helped me slowly rebuild. Therapy was a big part of that too.

These organisations don’t just offer medical information and counselling, they help create connection and community. And that can be the most powerful kind of healing there is.

I’m also supporting National Aids Trust, the UK’s HIV rights charity. They work to fight the discrimination and stigma faced by people living with, or affected by, HIV, and to get us on track to be the first country to end new transmissions by 2030.

If you’ve just been diagnosed with HIV, or think you might be living with it, here’s what I want you to know: it’s not a death sentence.

We are lucky to have access to treatment in the UK that means you can live a full, healthy, happy life. I take one pill a day. That’s it! Once you’re on medication, you can reach an undetectable status, meaning you can’t pass the virus on. U=U (undetectable equals untransmittable). It’s science, it’s fact, and it’s a game-changer.

Take your time. You don’t have to tell everyone. Share with people you trust. And most of all, know that you are not defined by this.

Being on the show gave me more than I expected. Not just the opportunity to be open about my status but also to just be myself, fully and unapologetically. A little weird, a little messy, but real.

I made incredible friendships I know will last a lifetime. And I hope someone watching felt seen in a way I didn’t feel when I needed it most.

HIV doesn’t define me, it’s just one part of who I am. But now, it’s a part I’m proud to speak up about – for the me who once felt alone, and for everyone out there who still might.

National Aids Trust’s flagship fundraising event, Drag Raise, is on 3 July at Diageo’s Luminist bar in central London. You can get tickets here, and find out more about National Aids Trust at nat.org.uk

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