LGBTQ+ couple open up about their adoption journey: ‘I want to be the dad I didn’t have growing up’

Amid an urgent plea for adopters to come forward, a married couple are determined to advocate for the “good path into becoming parents” in celebration of World Adoption Day (9 November). 

The annual celebration day, which aims to “lift up all voices in the adoption community”, sheds light on the stories of hidden heroes and their beautiful adopted families.

Matthew and Ryan Mackinnon, 32 and 30, are two of those heroes. Having been together for a decade and married since June 2024, they decided to pursue their dream of having a family. 

In England, one in five adoptions in 2023 were possible thanks to same-sex couples, according to New Family Social. However, there continues to be an urgent need for adopters following a shortfall of 750 adopter families as of March 2025, almost a three times increase in one year, according to the Adoption and Special Guardianship Quarterly Data Collection.

Matthew says of adoption: “I think people do sometimes forget about adoption because they think it’s out of reach, but it’s not.” 

Ryan, who has experienced the care system – having spent a year in foster care and having family, who, he says, are mostly not blood-related – admits that “adoption can be scary”, but believes this fear can eased through more open conversations. His past experiences, he adds, have become what he calls a “strength” as they prepare to welcome their first child.

“I’ve always thought of adoption as a really good path into becoming parents,” he says. 

Matthew adds: “We did explore surrogacy and look at other options, but there are so many kids out there that need home.” 

Neither of them shy away from the fact it is a “hard” and “long process”, but the emotion in their voices makes clear it’s a life-changing and worthwhile one. 

‘It’s a pathway that should be explored’

On 28 October, the husbands launched their podcast, “Daddies Overnight“, which follows them as they dive into parenthood for the first time. 

Matthew says they hope the podcast will advocate for adoption because “they are crying out for foster carers and adopters”. 

Ryan says: “I think it’s about modernising adoption, but also opening up the conversation that adoption is a option if you want to start a family. Every family is different, it’s a pathway that should be explored.”

“You don’t have to have your life together to be the perfect parent,” Ryan says, with Matthew adding that online, everything has a tendency to look “perfect”. 

“Being able to normalise being a same-sex couple, and that not every family is this copy-and paste-perfection,” Matthew notes, is important to them. Ryan jokes, “realistically, we have no idea how to parent,” but adds that this is the same dilemma all new parents face. 

To help them gain experience – what Ryan jokingly calls “work experience” – they helped out at a nursery for eight weeks, which enables them to work with children and connect with parents in similar situations. 

“We took a lot away from it,” Matthew says, though Ryan notes that many people give birth without ever having had experience with children. 

Matthew says of common misconceptions about adopting: “Being a same-sex couple, single or trans, it’s not a barrier – it’s a myth (even if online) it might say that these things might be a barrier.” They both agree that online misinformation stops many potential parents from considering adoption. 

Ryan adds that there is a form allowing prospective parents to express “very early on how open you are”. “It’s also a reflection on the social workers, and that everyone should be treated as equal,” he adds. 

‘I want to be the dad I didn’t have’

Matthew says of their family becoming three: “We’re excited to relive our childhood through them: going to the park and being able to do all these things. There’s also so much potential to be able to grow our family.”

“I’m just excited to give our little boy the best life ever,” Matthew adds. Ryan, who echoed Matthew’s sentiment, emphasising that their child will have “the best childhood ever”.

“I want to be the dad I didn’t have growing up. I want to be his biggest cheerleader.”  They are one of many LGBTQ+ families proving that adoption can provide the family you’ve always dreamed of.

Anyone interested in adopting can visit www.youcanadopt.co.uk. 

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