‘This adult panto full of very naughty gags made me rethink my festive traditions’

I haven’t been to a pantomime since I was a child – but it simply has to be part of my annual festive traditions now. Well, adult pantos, anyway.

I was invited to London’s Charing Cross Theatre to watch naughty adult panto Beauty and the Beast: A Horny Love Story and it was exactly like the pantomimes I’d watched in my youth, only much, much naughtier.

From the talents behind Jack and the Beanstalk: What A Whopper, this play tells the story of innocent virgin lad Bertie (played by Matt Kennedy) who goes on a journey of self-discovery, eventually meeting the beast Charlie (Keanu Adolphus Johnson) and falling in love.

The production also features Bertie’s lesbian twin sister Bonnie (Laura Anna-Mead), their panto dame mother Flora (Matthew Baldwin), evil Cornelius (Chris Lane), magic lesbian fairy Juno (Dani Mirels). Actor Ben Mabberley appears as Flora’s love interest Harris and one of Charlie’s ghostly castle-mates, with a name that got a huge laugh whenever he said it. Owen Akkrow and Olivia-Grace Weaver make up the ensemble, taking on a number of fun roles throughout.

Beauty and the Beast: A Horny Love Story has all the expected panto fun – there’s plenty of audience interaction (including a very fast karaoke moment, which I was very grateful to have my contacts in for), a heartwarming festive story and, of course, gags.

But that’s where the similarities end.

The jokes are never-ending in the best way, with many playing on stereotypes from within the LGBT community. But this production is very much laughing with the community, rather than at, so even the most cut-throat gags never feel like they’ve gone too far.

It weaves in modern queer culture in ways that turns the jokes on the audience instead. A few definitely felt a bit too close to home!

And there’s even a dig aimed at a certain shamed former prince too.

Baldwin’s drag panto dame Flora was a real highlight. As in any panto, or any live production, not everything went smoothly, but Baldwin brought the audience in on it.

He had the audience hooked on every word, and eating out of the palm of his hand. Almost quite literally at some moments, involving cream scones. For those with seats closer to the stage, I’d recommend bringing some tissues, if not another top (and I’m not talking about your other secret boyfriend).

While the audience at the performance I attended was largely men (in fact, it’s one of the only events I’ve been to where the queue for the men’s toilet is far longer than the women’s), there’s plenty for the girls too thanks to Bonnie’s storyline.

A real festive treat, Beauty and the Beast: A Horny Love Story has turned me into a panto convert, and I already can’t wait for 2026’s offerings.

The show is running until 11 January, with tickets ranging from £35 to £60. More information can be found on the Charing Cross Theatre website.

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