Hilarious trans terminology mix-up goes viral on TikTok: ‘I woke up to the most confused message’

A TikTok user’s account of a funny, but well-meaning, mix-up about trans terminology in her local neighbourhood group has gone viral on TikTok, racking up over 2.5 million views in just a couple of days.

Jessica Harris, who runs a cat rescue charity and goes by @jesslovespeters on TikTok, took to the platform to describe a very confusing online encounter that she was part of recently.

The TikTok video starts with Jess saying: “Female-to-male trans (people) and first time moms: y’all need to get together and decide who gets to keep the FTM acronym.”

She can hardly keep a straight face as she continues: “In my local neighbourhood giveaway group, this woman posted ‘FTM: looking for boy clothes’, and to be fair, she said ‘boy’. That should have been my first clue.”

Yes, the poster was actually a first time mom, looking for clothes for a baby boy, not a trans man looking for clothing donations. It’s an easy mistake to make, though, especially if you pride yourself on being a supportive trans ally, as Jess clearly does!

Still laughing, Jess continues her tale, saying: “So I messaged her, ‘hey I’m moving, my husband’s getting rid of some clothes, what size do you need?'”

Finishing her story, she explains: “And I just woke up to the most confused message back, saying she didn’t need full grown man clothes; she hasn’t had the baby yet.”

@jesslovespeters

I’m now thinking back to all the times I saw FTM in other contexts and was slightly confused 💀💀💀

♬ original sound – Jess Rescuing Cats

The amusing mistake clearly struck a chord with her followers, as over 6000 people commented on the video to share their reactions, and also discuss other confusing or shared acronyms that can cause similar issues online.

The top comment reads: “I’m a social worker but I can never say I’m a SW.” SW is shorthand for sex worker.

Another person shared their experience, writing: “Telling people I’m a Poly (Polynesian) and they’re thinking Poly (Polyamorous).”

A third noted another confusing shared term: “MLM = Men Loving Men. MLM = Multi-Level Marketing (Pyramid schemes).”

Other people simply complimented Jess for being so supportive, with one writing: “You’re awesome for wanting to support a FTM trans person in their transition with gender affirming clothes.”

When was the term FTM first used?

Many other commenters pointed out that the term really does “belong” to the trans community, rather than first time moms, as it has been used by trans masculine people since the 1980s.

According to The International Encyclopedia of Human Sexuality, Lou Sullivan (1951 − 1991) first the term FTM as the name of his support group and of the newsletter he first published in 1986, which appeared generally on a quarterly basis beginning in late 1987.

The organization became FTM International (FTMI) in 1994, under the leadership of Jamison Green (1991 − 1999), growing from about 230 to around 1,500 members in 17 countries.

In contrast, the acronym FTM for “First Time Mom” gained prominence alongside the rise of online parenting forums and social media in the 2010s, so it’s a much more recent phenomenon.