Dating

This real-life closeted football player romance has us feeling all the feels

Feb 18
Written by Chantelle Billson

Two Gaelic footballers had a secret romance (Mirrorpix via Getty Images)

This real-life closeted football player romance has us feeling all the feels.

The writer of a letter sent to Irish radio station RTÉ Radio 1 shared that gay ice hockey drama Heated Rivalry reminded him of a relationship he had with another Gaelic football player when he was in his early 20s.

Read by Brendan O’Connor, the writer shared memories of his former love, adding that he still hopes to reconnect with him.

He wrote: “I am a successful, reasonably wealthy, married man with two adult children. But sometimes I find myself lost in emotion.

“Way back, I played soccer and Gaelic football and a friend at the time played Gaelic football for an opposing club. We met a few times on the pitch on opposite sides, both determined to do the best for our teams.”

O’Connor continued: “In one particular match, we both went after the ball, and he slipped, losing the ball. As I took up the tackle passing him, he said, just loud enough, ‘Go for it.’ The slip was deliberate, but well covered.”

‘I fancy you actually’

After the match, the writer shared that the rival player bought him a drink in the clubhouse. He had pointed to a shelf of spirits and liqueurs, asking what he would fancy.

“My reply was, ‘I fancy you actually.’ There was no look of surprise, no stand back, no blush. He asked for a lift home, which I gave, and as he got out of the car, he leaned across and kissed me on the side of my face and said, ‘See you soon, I hope’.”

This began a two-and-a-half year affair during which time the men, both 22, mostly met in hotel rooms. Even going on fake “training courses” so they could be together.

“Just like in Heated Rivalry, we stayed distant except for an after-match drink with the teams and left separately to meet later.”

“Staying in the same room in a hotel was not unusual for guys traveling together,” the writer explained, adding that they were still seen as “opposition players” but were “very good friends to each other privately”.

‘I think about him every single day’

“Then, after two-and-a-half years of happiness, comfortable conversations and intimacy, he disappeared from my life.

“I have not seen or heard from him in all that time. But guess what? I think about him every single day since, and I still love him, even though we never said it to each other,” he wrote, explaining that he misses intimacy with his former lover, adding he sometimes feels “lost” and “down there” even now.

He added a note to anyone watching Heated Rivalry: “Ignore the sex, see and feel the intimacy, listen to the dialogue. It’s short, but it’s intimate.

“Feel the pain of the characters as their relationship develops, and feel the good pain, which comes on the realisation that the attraction that was there initially is now real love, concern, and a deep protective instinct. See the transition to the realisation that they really love each other.

“I still have difficulty 30 years later. He could find me again. I’m confident of that. I don’t know if it will ever happen, but hope springs eternal.”