‘I’m a gay man who married a straight woman, but I still identify as gay’

A gay man who is married to a straight woman has been explaining his relationship.

Jacob Hoff met Samantha Wynn Greenstone in 2015 while they were auditioning for roles in hit musical Fiddler on the Roof. They became friends but developed stronger feelings for each other and were married last year.

“It just happens to be a fluke in the system that we work together and are soulmates,” Jacob said on TikTok. “I get to keep my identity as a gay person, even though my partner is a woman.”

Samantha responded: “I know he’s gay and it is what it is. We’re two people who just love each other for who we are, the end. Love is love.”

@pinknews This is Samantha and Jacob, they are married, but Samantha is a straight woman and Jacob is a gay man. Jacob and Samantha met in 2015 and started out as friends, over the next two years they started to develop feelings for each other and in 2017 they officially became a couple. After seven years together, Jacob and Samantha got married in 2024. Despite Samantha being a straight woman, Jacob still identifies as gay. #lgbt #gay #marriage #relationship #dating #mixedorientationmarriage ♬ vlog, chill out, calm daily life(1370843) – SUNNY HOOD STUDIO

The pair described their life together as a “mixed-orientation relationship”.

They tackle questions about their relationship, having built a large social media following. “We do have sex, and we are intimate,” Jake has said in the past.

Samantha has spoken about concerns she had early on in the relationship, over whether that Jake could leave her for man. But these fears evaporated. “Any doubt that I’ve ever had is gone because I think enough time shows that someone’s really in it for the long run.”

Meanwhile, Jacob has had to assure followers that he’s happy in their monogamous relationship. “I would never dream of going outside of this,” he said. “This is the most important thing in my life that has ever happened and will ever happen.”

@samanthawynngreenstone We are having so much having long conversations with one another on our podcast "Brutally Honest with Sam and Jacob" #lavendermarriage #gay #couple #couplegoals #marriedlife @Jacob Hoff ♬ original sound – Samantha Wynn Greenstone

The pair have denied claims that they are in a “lavender marriage.” The term is used to describe similar types of relationships to Jacob and Samantha’s where a gay man marries a straight woman to hide his sexuality. One example was actor Rock Hudson’s marriage to Phyllis Gates in 1955, a time when Hollywood stars couldn’t be gay and expect to stay in the business.

“Lavender marriages used to be something that was, like, keeping the gay person on the hush hush, and we’re out and proud,” Jacob said.

Share your thoughts! Let us know in the comments below, and remember to keep the conversation respectful.