Ho ho ho-mosexuals! Dyke Santa contest draws stripping Father Christmases, femme Mrs Clauses and campy Grinches

This year dykes on both sides of the Atlantic have been treated to swoon-worthy performative masc and femme contests that have left us fanning our faces and rejoicing at the fiercely political and joyful creativity of our shared community.

As the festive season gets underway, Booters Butch Bar served up a merry special treat that certainly won’t fit under your tree: the Dyke Santa contest.

Hosted at the Old Nun’s Head, on Nunshead Green in Peckham, the event was MCed by Booters Butch Bar‘s own Oran Keaveney. They were joined on the judging panel by London drag scene staple Nat Funni and Vic Smith, manager at longstanding New York City lesbian dive bar Cubbyhole.

The free event saw contestants channel all manner of Christmasy personas to make the Yuletide gay.

From dykey Santas to femme Mrs Clauses, reindeers, elves and even a Grinch who handed out raw Brussel sprouts to attendees, the contestants were as varied as baubles on a Christmas tree. One butch fireman Santa gave the judges a sneak peek at what they had in their sack, a South London elf demonstrated their techniques for evading TFL while another Santa showed off their, ahem, slay-bells, and stripped down to their gift-wrapped pants for the screaming crowd.

Much like the performative masc and femme contests, which also took place at the Old Nun’s Head, the competition had rounds to determine the winner.

The first round was a runway which saw the contestants strut their stuff through the crowd of ogling queers, followed by an interview round which also saw an audience volunteer come up to the stage to sit on each Santa’s lap.

The job of each contestant was to find out what the (very willing) volunteer wanted for Christmas and if they had been naughty or nice. This round saw some of the Santas themselves get a bit naughty: pulling multiple lesbians on their laps at once, sweeping them off their feet and sharing some kisses – all to impress the judges. We’re sure regardless of whatever the volunteers originally wanted for Christmas, they walked away very happy with what they got from their dyke Santa.

The third and final round saw the judges whittle the contestants down to three finalists: sexy Santa Iz, Mrs Claus Suzie, and elf Shine.

Each finalist then took a turn – the order decided by their star signs – to complete a timed obstacle course comprised of seasonally apt challenges. These included being the fastest to: wrap a present, eat a very dry vegan gluten-free cookie, wash it down with a shot of Baileys or an alcohol-free alternative, crawl through a “chimney” formed by the legs of five audience members, and then run back to the stage to shout “Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmas!” into the mic.

It was a close race but Suzie was ultimately named the winner and was presented with an assortment of goodies, including a Booters t-shirt, NYC-themed Christmas ornaments and sweeties brought over by Smith from the Big Apple, alongside some Cubbyhole drinks tokens for any future trips to the West Village.

Suzie said they felt “honoured” and “privileged” to win the contest and spoke of the joy that being amongst community, at events such as this, can bring.

“Honestly, when the crowd booed at [hearing I’m a] Capricorn, I felt like the underdog! And I think that motivated me to get the win.

“I was a bit nervous, this is my first queer event I’ve been to in a while. But fundamentally, it’s the joy of showing up and – even if I didn’t win – being surrounded by lovely people.

“I haven’t been around this many transfems in so long, it’s wonderful. And being around your community, however wide or thin it is, is warming: especially at Christmas time when that’s a hard time, it’s cold and it’s dark and can be a little bit lonely.

“Being in your community really matters, it’s wonderful.”

Discussing the event, Keaveney said Christmas can be a very heteronormative time of year and so it was great to see so “many cheesy festive motifs reinvented for an appreciative dyke audience”.

“After running London Performative Butch and Femme contests, and two Butch contests in Ireland last month, it was the best craic to be back at the Old Nun’s Head to kick off the holiday season!” they told PinkNews.

“I especially loved all the different interpretations of ‘Dyke Santa’ that the contestants brought to the stage, not limited to having to present as butch or femme a with previous ‘performative’ contests.

“As always, we’re so grateful to The Old Nun’s Head for supporting these queer contests so that we can put on a free show for our community, and capture a little snapshot of what dyke identity looks like in London in 2025.”

Judge Nat Funni said the highlight of the contest was the interview round and “then at the end when our winner Suzie congratulated all the top Santa’s with a big hug and scream – that was a sign of the wholesome dyke Christmas to come.”

Manager at The Old Nun’s Head, Allie Twist, said: “Why wouldn’t we want to kick off festivity with a Dyke Santa contest? We will always provide a space in our pub any day to celebrate our queerness any season but this is just the perfect fit because the nuns just love everything Christmas as much as Booters.”