The gay sex guide to dildos

Choosing the right dildo can be as difficult as finding the right movie on Netflix when you’re hungover. Entering a sex shop and being faced by literally hundreds of different-sized cocks can be intimidating. Some of them are bigger than a small studio flat in London. Well, almost.

Dildos come in many different shapes, sizes and guises. But what is the best dildo for anal sex? This massively depends on what you’re using the dildo for.

On one end of the scale, it could be that you want to start experimenting with anal, or maybe you just want to find out what it feels like having something inside your butt.

On the other end, you might be an anal pro and want the biggest sex toy possible. As RuPaul’s Drag Race star Tatianna famously says… “Choices!”

This guide offers a helping hand through the world of dildos so you can safely, confidently and happily get the right one for the kind of sex you’re having. We’ll be talking about dildos that range from small to gigantic.

Getting started – dildos for anal training

Taking dick for the first time is often a painful, stressful experience. Our butts just don’t know what’s going on, the muscles ‘panic,’ they contract and it hurts.

The same thing happens with dildos if they’re an average cock size (or larger), and that’s a painful challenge for first-timers to anal play.

Plenty of you fellas may be dreaming of a girthy eight incher, but that’s something you’ve got to work your way up to. Or, it’s just gonna hurt like f*** and you might be put off anal forever. Which would be terrible.

Luckily there are trainer dildos.

Technically speaking, they’re classed as Butt Plugs. They come in sizes that are smaller than the average penis, and you can even get kits where they get gradually larger, literally training your ass muscles to get used to bigger sizes.

You can get beginner’s butt plugs from leading sex toy shop Love Honey. The website states: “All of our small butt plugs have petite proportions to ensure a comfortable introduction to backdoor fun”. To find out more go to the butt plug section here.

Plus they also sell smaller dildos, which are smaller in girth making it more comfortable for those trying out dildos for the first time. You can browse their collection on the Love Honey website here.

They’re a great way to kick-start your experimentation with anal. If you’re a bottom or thinking about becoming a bottom, read our guide on being penetrated by your partner.

Related: The Babadook is being transformed into a dildo called the ‘BabaDong’

How do I chose the right dildo?

If you’re already used to having things in your ass, we’re proud of you, carry on! But the dilemma of which dildo to choose is still an issue.

It depends why you want one in the first place really. If your aim is to take bigger cocks more comfortably, then choose one that’s slightly bigger than what you’re used to taking.

If you’re into anal play involving lots of toys, you may want to start a collection of different shapes and sizes, depending on your mood and kinks: the possibilities really are endless.

Different shapes and styles of dildo

Dildos come in a wide range of colours and materials, from black (standard) to neon pink.

The two main types of dildo are realistic ones – which look like a real dick, and non-realistic ones – which are shaped and contoured in more abstract or ergonomic ways for different kinds of experiences.

Some non-realistic dildos will, for instance, have a knobbly bit at the end to really work on your prostate.

Some of these non-realistic shaped dildos are actual pieces of art.

Whether you put it on your mantlepiece or hang it from your Christmas Tree depends on you really.

Related: This nativity scene made from dildos has got people really angry

Dildos with extra features and kinks

There’s a whole range of dildos that have special features that cater for pretty much whatever you’re into.

Double-ended dildos mean you and your partner can f**k each other at the same time, with the same cock (kind of).

Then there are dildos with added technical perks. Some dildos vibrate (but vibrators are a whole other story), and some can even squirt lube as they go.

A quick search on Amazon also brought up results for a wolf cock and a horse cock dildo (18.5 inches in case you’re wondering).

The biggest dildo we found was called Moby and was 35 inches. Hey, we’re not judging.

How to use your dildo

So now you’ve got one, this is how to use it.

• Lube. Use lots of lube. Cover the dildo in lubricant and put some in your ass too. The type of lube you use will depend on the material of your dildo. There’ll usually be instructions included telling you which lubes are compatible, and which might spoil your new tool. For more on lube, slide over to our lube guide, here
• Start slow. Don’t just shove it in, ease it in gently. Breathe. When your muscles have relaxed again, go a bit deeper. The good thing here is, you’re in complete control
• Find a rhythm that you’re comfortable with, then go for it. The rest is up to you

Related: A viral tweet revealing that this emoji comes from lesbian sex is blowing people’s minds

Dil-do’s and Dil-don’ts: tips and tricks from a Dildo Expert

We spoke to Porn Star and performance artist Ashley Ryder – famous for being able to fit almost anything in his ass, about his top tips and tricks for using dildos safely.

He told us about taking bigger dildos up the arse, and looking after your new toys when you’re done with them.

Ashley says:

• It might take a few attempts to use your dildo well. It’s good to get the head of your dildo in the right place. Relax. Your hole and head will work together
• Work up and go slow. When your hole is open and sloppy, you can do so much more
• Don’t keep all your dildos together. Some dildos can become distorted or get stained by the dyes in other dildos. Keep flesh colour and black ones apart for sure

After-care

• Also remember, the lubes you use can also distort toys. Oil-based lubes and Silicone lube destroys Silicone toys
• Wash your toys before use. No-one wants a colon full of cat hair. Also, any sharper bits of dust could scratch your insides and cause bleeding. If you notice any bleeding, don’t keep going

And finally, what to do if it gets stuck inside you…

• Just relax, sit on the toilet and chill out. Let it come out naturally. With a good push here and there it should come back out – if an emergency occurs, seek medical advice