Chris Appleton thought it was ‘better for his kids to have dead dad than gay dad’
Chris Appleton (Axelle/Bauer-Griffin/FilmMagic)
Celebrity hairstylist Chris Appleton has revealed his deep internal struggle when he was coming out as gay.
The British personality, had a whirlwind marriage with actor Lukas Gage, has two children with his ex-girlfriend. He and his children’s mother were together for 10 years, before Appleton realised he was gay.
Speaking to Olivia Attwood on her Olivia’s House podcast, the 42-year-old recalled the internal battle he went through when he was realising his sexuality.
His children, son Billy and daughter Kitty-Blu, had been young and he worried about how his coming out might affect them.
“When I told the kids, I just felt like all that bullying, all that fear and all of that, I guess, abuse I went through as a kid, I was putting on to them,” Appleton told Attwood.
“As a parent, all you want to do is protect your kids. If someone hits your kids in the playground, you want to go find the f***** and kill them. You just say, ‘Who was it?’ You have that protective instinct to protect them from harm.
“If you’re the one causing the harm, I just felt like a disease. I felt like I had cancer. I felt like it was this plague. I felt like I was infecting people with suffering from something I couldn’t seem to control.”
He explained he hadn’t experienced same-sex attractions growing up until a man tried to kiss him one night on a trip for a hair show. “I didn’t think too much to it, other than like, that was weird, I was so drunk, whatever.”
But after becoming friends with the man, Appleton began to realise that he was gay, but tried to “go back to his normal regime”, which he soon realised he couldn’t.
Tragically, he came to believe that it would be better for his children if he wasn’t there.
“Telling the kids was awful,” he said. “That night, I just honestly felt like it would be better for them to have a dad that was dead than a dad that was gay. It was a horrible experience.”
Thankfully, his ex-girlfriend Kate, who he is now best friends with, found him. “She saved my life,” he said.
Since, he’s found happiness – and an incredible career followed.
His daughter Kitty-Blu often accompanies him to red carpet events and is an influencer with more than 135,000 Instagram followers. Meanwhile, his son Billy lives a more low-key life, though often pops up on his dad’s Instagram.
Listen or watch to the full interview on YouTube or Spotify.
Readers affected by the issues raised in this story are encouraged to contact Samaritans free on 116 123 (www.samaritans.org) or Mind on 0300 123 3393 (www.mind.org.uk). Readers in the US are encouraged to contact the National Suicide Prevention Line on 1-800-273-8255.
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