‘Very demure, very mindful’ TikTok star says going viral ‘ruined her life’ due to substance abuse
TikTok star Jools Lebron is opening up about how fame led to substance abuse. (Getty)
Jools Lebron, the trans TikTok star who went megawatt viral in 2024 with her catchphrase “very demure, very mindful”, has opened up about how the subsequent fame led to down a “horrible” path to substance abuse.
In a series of TikTok videos, the first of which was posted on 15 March, the 32-year-old influencer explained that going viral “let me fall down a slope of insobriety that ruined my life”.
She explained that, after “very demure, very mindful” became a social media sensation in August 2024 – the catchphrase was used by stars including RuPaul, Jennifer Lopez, the Kardashians and Lindsay Lohan – she was increasingly invited to glitzy events and welcomed into the entertainment industry.
She appeared as a guest on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, made on-stage appearances at the major award ceremonies, and was in the orbit of her “favourite influencers” and “favourite celebrities”.
While the bougie lifestyle provided her with enough money to purchase a new apartment and pay for gender-affirming care, it also reignited an issue with substances.
“It was the highlight of my life and everyone loved it. It also was the worst time of my life ever. It was the worst of times, b****,” she said plainly in one video.
In another, she said that she is currently “on a track of getting [her] life together”.
“The entertainment industry led me to substance abuse and alcoholism and my life falling apart. I got chewed up and spit out by Hollywood, girl,” she said.
“I’ve never been someone who drank a lot. When I’m getting into the entertainment industry, Hollywood, and I’m going to all these events and people are getting black out wasted and my favourite influencers and I’m meeting some of my favourite celebrities and things are happening,” she said, implying substance use.
“Unfortunately I succumbed to peer pressure, my bad,” she added.
She went on to describe how her substance and alcohol addiction spiralled out of control and led to a shopping addiction, a need for validation from men, and health issues with her teeth and nails. She also detailed instances where she had gone on long benders with bodybuilders, stayed locked in a room for days on end with a stranger, and burned bridges with brands by not posting their products.
The TikTok star said that while she had “gone through this [situation] many times” before, this was the first time she had been confronted by a substance abuse issue while having “money and success” to facilitate it.
Jools Lebron also confessed that her addiction had led to her house being left in disarray. Filming while walking around her apartment, Lebron showed items she’d purchased at the height of her fame including an arcade machine and thousands of dollars worth of computer equipment, which she had intended to use to create long-form streaming content.
She dubbed one room, her streaming studio, as the place “where dreams die” as it had been so full with unboxed PR gifts and “garbage”.
“The thing is, drinking is one thing but when you’re someone who ends up drinking at afters, then you become addicted to other s***,” she admitted.
“I’m gonna be real with you, the issue is that I would go through these benders and go through the same cycle of like, I wanna stream, I wanna make long-form content, and then I’d bring it to you guys, then I wouldn’t follow through with it, and it was just like, my life is falling apart depending on my mood.
“B****, success does not wait for your mood,” she continued.
She added that she is “focussed on getting sober” in order to turn her career around and to help others who may have endured similar struggles. She wanted to begin sharing her story to hold herself accountable.
“I think a lot of people are like, ‘Oh, she fell off’… b****, I was on drugs,” she said. “My house fell into despair during this time, no s***. We’re gonna clean up the studio so we can get back to streaming so we can maintain our career.”
During her youth, Lebron would use sports and the gym in order to process anger as “someone who has a lot of rage”.
“At home, I start processing and I’m like, ‘You know what, if I’m drunk I don’t really have to process this’,” she said. “Then I’d be drunk, and I’d be like, ‘You know what might make this more fun…?’ And then three days later, I’m still awake. I don’t want that anymore. It’s horrible.”
She explained that she would be heading back to the gym as part of her attempt to turn her life around.
“The thing is you wake up and you’re just so tired of being tired,” she said, getting emotional. “You are sick and tired of being sick and tired.
“I owe a lot of people apologies. I owe myself an apology.”
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