Jamie Lee Curtis opens up about daughter coming out as trans: ‘You still mess up, but I’m learning’
Jamie Lee Curtis has opened up about becoming a “grateful student” to her daughter Ruby since she came out as trans.
The Halloween star revealed in an interview with AARP earlier this year that her daughter is trans. Now, mother and daughter have opened up about the moment Ruby came out via text, and the journey they have been on since.
Ruby, who works as a video editor, told People that it was scary to come out to her family, but ultimately she wasn’t worried as her parents had been so supportive her entire life.
“It was intimidating – but I wasn’t worried,” Ruby recalled. “They had been so accepting of me my entire life.”
She described how she “knew [she] was different” after having a conversation with a friend who is also trans when she was 16 years old.
The friend asked Ruby what her gender was, and even though Ruby initially replied “I’m male”, afterwards she would “dwell on that thought”.
“I knew I was – maybe not Ruby per se, but I knew I was different,” she explained. “But I had a negative experience in therapy so I didn’t some out [as trans] immediately when I probably should have.”
But after seven years, she told her now-fiancé that she was “probably trans”, and they replied that they loved her. It took a bit longer for Ruby to come out to her parents, and she eventually decided to break the news via text.
Jamie Lee said there were “some tears involved”, but she called her back immediately to express her love for her child.
At one point in the interview, Ruby refers back to her deadname. Jamie Lee admitted it caught her by surprise, because it “doesn’t fit anymore”, but that getting used to Ruby’s new name had been “the hardest thing” for her to get used to.
“Just the regularity of the word,” Jamie Lee said. “The name that you’d given a child. That you’ve been saying their whole life.”
She added it’s been “sort of evolutionary and a very important step in our home” to make sure she and her husband are using Ruby’s correct name and pronouns.
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Jamie Lee said she still has tears when thinking about Ruby’s coming out journey, adding she’s still learning new things along the way. She described herself as a “grateful student” who is learning to speak a “new language” despite knowing she is “going to make mistakes”.
“You slow your speech down a little,” she said. “You become a little more mindful about what you’re saying. How you’re saying it.”
The Knives Out actor added: “You still mess up, I’ve messed up today twice. We’re human.”
Jamie Lee Curtis said their journey was ultimately “worth it” if “one person reads this, sees a picture of Ruby and me and says ‘I feel free to say this is who I am’”.
Ruby added she is “happy to talk about my experiences now” even though she tried her best to stay out of the spotlight before. She also dispelled any rumour that her coming out journey has anything to do “with my mom being famous”.
“I’ve tried to stay out of the spotlight for many years or at least done my best to,” Ruby told People. “I’m happy to be more visible if it helps others.”
Jamie Lee remarked she isn’t “proselytising” or “trying to force-feed something to people”. Instead, she’s just showing her support by sharing her family’s experience.
“I am here to support Ruby. That is my job,” Jamie Lee said. “Just as it is to care and love and support her older sister Annie in her journeys.”
She continued: “I’m a gratful student. I’m learning so much from Ruby.
“The conversation is ongoing. But I want to know: How can I do this better?”
But Ruby shared that her mum has “done the most you can” which is all she really wanted. She said helping others to accept and understand the trans community isn’t just “our household thing” but “should be a human thing”.
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