Gay MAFS UK groom hoped to show positive life with HIV in axed series

A gay groom who had filmed for Married At First Sight UK has admitted he was “absolutely devastated” to learn his series would not be broadcast, as he hoped to shine a positive light on living with HIV.

Channel 4 axed the show, including this year’s series which will now not air, last week, following an independent investigation into welfare on the show. A number of past participants made serious sexual allegations about their on-screen husbands, which have been denied by the men involved. And while the review, conducted by law firm Clyde & Co and former BBC One Controller Lorraine Heggessey, found the series could continue with adjustments, Channel 4 Chief Executive Priya Dogra announced it would not return.

Tom Byatt was one of the participants who had filmed the show – however his journey will now never be seen.

Speaking to PinkNews, Byatt says he was “absolutely devastated” when he got the news, but adds: “I want to acknowledge those who have come forward with allegations. I believe everyone deserves to be listened to with compassion and respect, and I recognise that people’s experiences can be very different.” He adds that he would not want his own, positive experience on the show invalidate that of others, saying: “My heart goes out to anyone who has experienced distress, and I hope they’re receiving the support they deserve.”

As for his time on the show, he says it was “phenomenal”, telling us: “I can genuinely say it was one of the most extraordinary experiences of my life, and I wouldn’t change the opportunity for the world.

“I went into it with absolutely everything I had. I was completely myself throughout… loud, confident, emotional at times, and probably a little bit dramatic! But that’s me!”

The experience forced him to reflect on things he’d “never properly dealt with” and it left him understanding himself on a “much deeper level”. He adds: “From my own personal experience, the production and welfare teams were fantastic. I felt supported throughout my journey, particularly when discussing sensitive and personal subjects.”

Byatt is living with HIV, and had hoped to show viewers a greater understanding of how he’s still able to live “an incredible life”. “I’ve been living with HIV for nearly two years now, and whilst receiving my diagnosis was initially incredibly difficult, it’s actually become a turning point in my life,” he says.

‘Being positive about being positive!’

“I’m now happier, healthier and more confident than I’ve ever been. But that doesn’t mean the journey has always been easy, particularly when it comes to dating, relationships and intimacy.”

Byatt hoped to show viewers “you can still date, fall in love, have meaningful relationships and live an incredible life”, adding: “I’ve always said I’m ‘being positive about being positive’, and I wanted to take that message to a national audience.”

He tells us: “Knowing that part of my story won’t now be seen is genuinely heartbreaking, because I really hoped it might help somebody out there feel less alone.”

While he can’t go into what happened on his MAFS UK journey, he says: “I came away from the experiment feeling stronger, more confident and incredibly grateful.

“One of the biggest things I quickly realised during the experiment was just how much my past experiences had affected me. I think I’d spent so much time putting on a brave face, being the confident, larger-than-life character everyone knows, that I hadn’t really stopped to realise I didn’t truly love myself.”

He goes on: “I’ve learned that I deserve someone who accepts every part of me… the big personality, the daft sense of humour, the emotional side and, of course, my HIV status.

“I’m not looking for someone to complete me. I’m already happy with who I am. I just want someone to share that happiness with.

“And yes, despite marrying a stranger, I’m still very much single and looking for love!”

He adds: “I’m disappointed that the world won’t get to see my journey, but I’m determined that my message about HIV awareness, acceptance and living life to the fullest won’t end here.

“Being positive about being positive!”

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