Australians demand free chicken nuggets instead of pointless marriage plebiscite

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Australians have urged the government to scrap a costly, redundant public vote plan on equal marriage and spend the money on free chicken nuggets.

The country’s PM Malcolm Turnbull has repeatedly blocked Parliamentary votes on same-sex marriage, and is instead bringing forward plans to take the issue to the public in a non-binding plebiscite, to avoid a rift with his own ultra-conservative MPs.

However, opponents have attacked the projected $200 million cost of holding the plebiscite over a simple vote in Parliament  – with the draft plebiscite bill even handing $7.5 million of funding to anti-LGBT activists to run a ‘No’ campaign.

One dissatisfied Aussie, Jimmy Raynes, has done some number-crunching and determined the best course to proceed.

My plan to give every Australian free nuggets

He worked out that the projected $200 million would buy 311,284,046 chicken nuggets at McDonald’s: enough to give 12.86 to each of the 24,194,905 people living in Australia.

Sadly Jimmy’s plan did not factor in a vegetarian option, but when he shared it on Reddit some proposed a potential trade-off for chips.

One user wrote: “Somewhere out there a gay vegan is reading your proposal and is feeling very conflicted.”

Another user proposed an alternate plan: “They could just give 10 million dollars to me and I’ll make the decision for them. That’s a pretty huge saving to be honest.

“If anyone has a problem with same sex marriage they can send me an email to a special address with an automated response that i’ll never check.”

Speaking to Buzzfeed, Mr Raynes said: ““It makes me terribly angry to think that so many people could be hurt by a divisive and unnecessary plebiscite campaign.

“I just wanted people to reflect on the absolute absurdity of subjecting love and human rights to a public vote.”