RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 4 episode 6: The problem with that lip sync battle

RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 4 Pitt Crew lend a hand

RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 4 used a lip sync battle to deliver the gag of the season.

But there was a glaring problem with the format. Read on to find out more.

Drag Race All Stars 4 Episode 6 LaLaPaRUza lip sync: the verdict

How much Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent was Episode 6 packing?

Overall: C.U.

Let’s not kid ourselves, Ru and her team can make any lip sync sink or swim in that edit suite.

This challenge exists so Ru can choose the top seven queens despite any buffoonery that may have taken place beforehand.

But, still, an episode injected with 100 percent silicone lip sync—even if some of it was more lip filler—is exactly what Dr. Zizmore ordered.

RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 4 Manila Luzon kills the runway

Manila is dominating the runway on All Stars 4. (VH1)

Challenge: C.U.N.

YES. Now it’s actually happened I can’t believe it’s taken this long for a mid-season lip-sync LaLaPaRuZa—not a clue, sorry—to get cooked up.

A crowd-pleasing recipe that served us cake in excess and was—generally—a success.

The only problem? They forgot the icing.

Lewks: C.

Category is: LaLaPaRuZa Eleganza 

Meh. Just meh.

I was licking my lips at Manila’s spaghetti dish.

But the rest?

Bordering on basic.

Valentina, Farrah and Naomi looked tasty but prioritised safety with with their on-brand choices.

Latrice, Monique, Trinity, Jasmine and Gia could all give Shangela a run for her money with how resolutely they stayed in their boxes.

But there is a shimmer of hope.

If Monet can move past the other queens at basic’s border to emigrate there fully—providing neither a good nor a service—surely we too can just use glitter and Jesus to blag our way out of the current mess we’re in?

RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 4 queen Monet X Change does not deliver on the runway

‘The bitch has immunity tonight’ and it shows. (VH1)

Drag Race All Stars 4 Episode 6: the problem

Ru got cold feet.

She backed out of sending Valentina home last week out of a fear of losing viewers.

A shame, because it would have left an even split—5-on-5—this week.

Meaning we could have left immunity in the early ’10s where it belongs together with reasoned political debate and Prince Phil’s driving licence.

Because as it stood nobody deserved to come back. Or leave.

There was no Aja, no Tatianna—the weakest queens had left in roughly the right order.

Watching Valentina—who may have statistically been doing the worst but deserves a place tits and lips above Latrice—fight to re-enter the competition would have been a true televangelista treat.

I also wanted to see Manila and Monet do what they do best and pout out some full bodied lip syncs.

The remaining monarchical flock slayed more eliminated queens than Henry VIII.

It was a great idea for a challenge, Drag Race, but—like Henry’s wives—badly executed.

Drag Race All Stars 4 Episode 6: the shade of it all

I can’t believe they kept this in

RuPaul’s Drag Race was read for filth. The real gag this episode was that Ru and her minions left in these three super self-conscious surprises:

Latrice: “We don’t talk about All Stars 1 because that was a shoddy situation. It doesn’t even count.”

RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 4's Latrice Royale is not having it with All Stars 1

‘F**k my season, right?’ Chad Michaels reacts to the news All Stars 1 has been retroactively cancelled. (VH1)

Farrah: “I wish the nobody-went-home thing applied to my episode.”

RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 4's Farrah Moan on her elimination

Farrah pointedly suggests Valentina’s fate on RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 4 may not have been entirely coincidental. (VH1)

RuPaul: “Lip-sync for your life to one of my songs.”

Gia: “What privilege!”

RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 4

Gia Gunn wastes no time firing a shot at the host of RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 4. (VH1)

Drag Race All Stars 4 Episode 6: edit of the week

Jinx must have been spraying her perfume around the Drag Race set this week if the producers think we’ll buy the idea that the queens had no idea which song would be under which box.

RuPaul’s Drag Race season 5 winner Jinx Monsoon

‘Delusion’ – fragrance by RuPaul’s Drag Race season 5 winner Jinx Monsoon. (Netflix)

I’m not mad the remaining queens had some advantage—playing on home ground seems a fair reward for not getting kicked off—but let’s be loose-lipped about this.

The song about shaking your cake? Trinity.

Adrenaline aka Pose-lite? Naomi.

Eccentric feline expressing her power? Valentina.

RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 4 Valentina dances to Kitty Girl

It’s her…Kitty Girl. (VH1)

But the truth wasn’t a bad trade off for the—well, trade.

RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 4 Pitt Crew lend a hand

Deal or No Deal: Is this how Theresa May should have presented her withdrawal agreement? (VH1)

Yep, I think I’m OK being lied to for this.

Drag Race All Stars 4 episode 6: A Queen-by-queen ru-view

Since nobody—technically—won this week, the VH1 fantasy league rankings don’t tell us much.

So instead we’ll rank the queens based on their lip sync performances. Partly because it seems more fair. Mostly because I have a physical need to see Naomi get some sort of recognition. Even if it’s from me.

1st: Naomi Smalls

Read my lips: Naomi won this challenge.

She posed, pranced and pissed all over the competition.

In an alternate universe—where she gave the same performances in Snatch Game and Variety Show to a fairer judging panel—she would be on her third win and a frontrunner for the crown.

Am I in Valentina fantasy mode? Maybe. But I see why she likes it here.

Edit: fan favourite that loses out on a top place (see: Alyssa, Chi Chi)

2nd: Valentina

This cat licked her wounds and then her lips at the prospect of a final win over Farrah.

Proving she has at least two lives, she embodied the song and clawed a win.

Edit: villain-lite (see: Milk)

3rd: Monique Heart

Top lip performance. A better progression—and wig reveal—than Latrice. I was sure she was staying even through Ru’s shenanigans.

Edit: narrator (Trixie)

 4th: Latrice Royale

A valiant effort. She did the best of the eliminated queens, and was very slightly better than Trinity and Gia. Will she suffer the usual kiss of death bestowed on returning queens?

Edit: returning queen soon to be eliminated (see: Morgan, Tatiana)

 5th: Gia Gunn

The Haus of Edwards showed up to play. The Alyssa-esque choreography was lip glossy but—next to Naomi’s biggest talent—it wasn’t enough to make our attention lip stick.

6th: Trinity the Tuck

Competent lippy but nothing we haven’t seen before from her.

I can’t decide whether refusing to take off her coat during the runway was lazy or genius.

But I can decide that the actual reveal was a boot. What was the point?

Edit: the one to beat (see: Alaska, Ben DeLa Crème)

 7th: Farrah Moan

Farrah has the same issue as Gia. Both danced well but neither of them can sell the story through their eyes and lips.

Trinity was right in her cute little Bianca/Adore moment with Farrah, she does just need to own it that bit more.

8th (/1st): Jasmine Masters

Pucker up for Jasmine—that stretching, that twerking, that jush!

Jasmine is playing her own game by her own rules and she is winning it.

Yes, she’d be the first to admit Drag Race isn’t that game, but do I care? Does she?

Not a jot.