Cis woman opens up about being harassed in female toilet because bigot thought she was trans

Jay

A cis woman who was harassed in a female toilet in a Las Vegas casino by a stranger who assumed she was a trans child has said she was “trying not to cry or panic” during the public confrontation, which went viral on TikTok.

The video showed a confrontation between TikTok user Jay (creatingjayrose) and an unknown woman, who accused her of being trans, and demanding she revealed her gender identity – which Jay refused to do.

Since posting the video on social media, Jay has informed PinkNews that the Vegas casino where the incident happened will not be taking further action against the harasser. The woman and her husband were removed from the premises after the incident, but have since been allowed to return.

In a bid to ensure no one else has to suffer harassment for just using the bathroom, Jay will work to escalate the complaint as “a slap on the wrist is not enough”.

Jay’s original video has recently been removed from TikTok for “grooming behaviour” – which Jay has addressed, saying: “Immediately, no.”

@creatingjayrose @tiktok i need you to explain why you keep removing my videos #greenscreen #harassedinbathroom #update #putmyvideoback ♬ original sound – jay

Following the aggressive confrontation, Jay told PinkNews that it was “extremely concerning” that the woman thought she was a child yet continued to talk about her in an inexcusable way. 

‘I could see no one would help’

While recording her video from the safety of a bathroom stall, Jay said she was struggling to keep calm.

“On the inside, I was already panicking because I could feel the fact no one would be helping me in this situation as she’d been venting for several minutes and no one had shut her down or said anything,” she said.

Jay said viewers of the video thought she was calm, but the reality was she was “trying not to cry or panic”.

“I could have told her I was a woman and it might have solved the issue in that moment, but I couldn’t do that. 

“I couldn’t let her think that questioning and interrogating people to find out their identity was OK because it really didn’t matter what I was, I was just using the bathroom like everyone else.”

@creatingjayrosecrying in public is literally so embarrassing ?♬ original sound – Socialist_Sigma

She recalled looking for backup, but said she felt “alone” in the moment and “hurt” by the fact no one helped her, while the incident left Jay “shaken up”. 

After the attack, Jay has thought about if she was a child or trans – instead of a cis woman – and how hard it would’ve been to go through what she did. 

Jay was convinced by her partner to post the footage online and said the response to it has been “overwhelming”, with lots of positivity and some negativity, which she is “avoiding”. 

Looking through the countless comments Jay said she’s been shocked by “how many people in the trans community actually avoid public restrooms out of fear – it’s heartbreaking”.

“I wanted to show that even though I went into the restroom with the sole purpose of just using the facilities, I was met with harassment and interrogation. 

“On top of the fact she thought I was a child, and no one stepped in.”

Jay said the video is important as it shows what happens if nobody intervenes, and highlights that this type of harassment can happen to “anyone”. 

She added: “I know certain people like to push the narrative that the trans-community uses the bathroom as an excuse to assault people.”

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