Explainers

What is a ‘black cat lesbian’ as term pops up on I Kissed A Girl?

Jul 02
Written by Emily Maskell

What is a ‘black cat lesbian’? (Getty Images, stock)

During this week’s I Kissed A Girl episodes, OG Ashlea and newbie Sophie brought up the term “black cat lesbian” during a discussion about types, with Sophie saying: “I’m exhausted… I just exist.”

On TikTok, the LGBTQ+ community runs wild creating trends, sounds and new terms that expand language to make sense of identities.

The platform’s ever-evolving lesbian dictionary includes terms like ‘U-Haul lesbian’ and ‘pillow princess’, used to differentiate various lesbian personality traits and relationships.

One term used increasingly online is “black cat lesbian”. But what does this term mean, where does it come from and what is the “black cat lesbian” relationship to the “golden retriever lesbian“?

What is a ‘black cat lesbian’?

In short, it’s an identity that refers to a lesbian who shares tendencies with the elusive black cat. This lesbian is femme, mysteriously sexy and can sometimes be a bit of a mean girl – if you get on the wrong side of her.

According to comedian and TikTok user Rosie Turner: “You’re probably going to find your black cat on the sofa watching a murder documentary, painting their claws or [reading] horoscopes under a blanket.”

@rosieturnerdaily
♬ Relaxed everyday loop BGM – Milk

“These… lesbians love to snuggle up… they like to be kept, important,” she adds.

Speaking about their characteristics more generally, TikTok user Anna Kristina says “a cat doesn’t run after anyone”.

She goes on to say this lesbian personality is independent, controlled, can hold their own, and is also rational and logical.

Where does the term ‘black cat lesbian’ come from?

It originated on TikTok. It’s not entirely clear where the first use of the term occurred, but cat imagery has long been significant in lesbian culture.

The cat-loving lesbian, however, is a trope that has long existed in the community. This term arrived from cat’s “spirited feline self-sufficiency” mirroring their existence in heteronormative society.

What is the ‘black cat’ and ‘golden retriever’ pairing?

In Turner’s explanation of the “black cat lesbian”, she noted they “pair well with ‘golden retriever lesbians’”.

It’s the age-old concept of opposites attract, which in this case usually manifests itself as a “black cat” femme lesbian pairing up with a “golden retriever” masc.

While the “black cat lesbian” can be standoffish and cold, the “golden retriever lesbian” is described as a masculine lesbian who is very smiley and loving. The former is introverted while the latter is extroverted.

This contrasting pairing has now become a TikTok theory applied to couples. As one Reddit User shared: “My girlfriend [and] I have this dynamic where she’s the ‘black cat’ and I’m the ‘golden retriever’, she’s femme and I’m masc, it’s just perfect with our personalities.”

The pairing is a common relationship template that can be seen on lesbian TikTok.

For instance, TikTok users Bec and Meg, whose content focuses on LGBTQ+ travel, demonstrated the contrasting personalities.

@worldofbecandmeg
Match made in heaven 🤍 #lgbt #couple #relationship #lesbian #lesbiansoftiktok #lesbiandating #relatable #wlw #wlwcouple #lgbtqia #lgbtq🏳️‍🌈 #femlesbian #lesbianrelationship #femmelesbians
♬ sheima_al Kourtney K – Shayshay

Identifying with the terms, their TikTok shows the “black cat lesbian” can easily calm down their “golden retriever lesbian” counterpart over a joke the latter thought was rude.

Their TikTok caption reads: “Match made in heaven.”

But, at the end of the day, labels are just that… labels. They’re not vital or necessary, but they can be enjoyable to play around with, particularly on social media.