Fox News host roasted online for bizarre ‘hyper-masculine’ straw rule: ‘Imagine being this weak’
Jesse Watters, pictured here using a straw, can’t stand men using straws, apparently. (The Five/Fox News)
Jesse Watters, pictured here using a straw, can't stand men using straws, apparently. (The Five/Fox News)
Fox News pundit Jesse Watters’ toxic masculinity is clutching at straws after he shared a list of things he views as not masculine enough, including drinking milkshakes.
The 46-year-old compiled a list of the world’s most fragile rules to be a proper manly man during a Wednesday (19 March) broadcast of Fox News segment The Five.
Watters, alongside a panel of right-wing regulars, was reacting to a clip of Minnesota governor, Tim Walz, who said during a guest spot on Gavin Newsom’s podcast that MAGA Republican’s obsession with masculinity weirds him out but thinks he could “kick most of their a***s.”
In response, all Watters could chalk up was that Republicans had nicknamed Walz “Tampon Tim” for his pro-bodily autonomy views. He also added: “Real men don’t talk about how they can beat others up, they don’t talk about how masculine they are.”
He then began to list off an unhinged set of personal rules that he believes make him and other men more masculine.
Watters: I have rules for men. Like you don't eat soup in public. You don't cross your legs. And you don't drink from a straw. His excuse was I was drinking a milk shake. Again, you shouldn't be drinking a milk shake. Milk shakes are for kids. pic.twitter.com/ftQ7Pq7SdP
— Acyn (@Acyn) March 19, 2025
The rules, which he baselessly claimed are “funny” include not eating soup in public, not crossing your legs and, of course, absolutely no drinking from straws.
“One of the reasons you don’t drink from a straw is because of the way your lips purse. It’s very effeminate,” Watters unironically said on a talk show with an average viewership rating of 2.5 million, many of whom are no doubt men who drink from straws.
Naturally, Watters also believes that men shouldn’t be drinking milkshakes, especially through a straw, since, he claims: “Milkshakes are for kids.”
The set of rules were completely roasted by users on social media who ridiculed Watters for what they said is an “incredibly insecure” way to live.
MediaMatters LGBTQ+ program director, Ari Drennen, said on social media that she believes Watter’s rigid views on gender norms to be the true “gender ideology” which has plagued the US, adding that it “makes everyone miserable for no reason.”
“Drink a milkshake if you want a milkshake,” she said. “I believe that there should be an abundance of milkshakes.”
Another X user wrote: “Watters’ manhood is on life support, and one sip from a straw might end it all. Manhood apparently hinges on beverage consumption techniques.”
A third joked: “Jesse Watters’ Guide to Hyper-Masculinity: No soup, no straws, no milkshakes—just raw steak, crushed gravel, and the tears of weaker men.”
Unbelievably, Watters’ strong views on straw drinking aren’t exclusive to his personal brand of toxic masculinity. In a 2023 post on the Reddit page r/RandomThoughts, which asked why so many men “refuse to use a straw,” several commentators said they hate using straws for similarly insecure reasons.
“It’s like a long skinny penis in your mouth,” said a comment with 30 upvotes, while another claimed they never use straws, which they described as “sissy sticks,” unless they were drinking from their incredibly masculine Yeti reusable tumbler.
