‘America’s biggest homophobe’ Michele Bachmann thinks her vote for Donald Trump was stolen by Satan himself

Michele Bachmann

In her latest post-election tantrum, former Minnesota congresswoman Michele Bachmann has declared that her vote for Donald Trump was stolen by Satan himself.

Bachmann, also known as “America’s biggest homophobe”, took her conservative conspiracy theories to the next level at a rally at Salem Baptist Church in Georgia.

In her latest unhinged rant, she claimed that Satan had chosen 2020 to “snatch” American democracy because it’s the 400th anniversary of the founding of the Plymouth colony in 1620.

“When the clock was striking 11:59 and 59 seconds on the 400th anniversary of this gift of God to the world, this idea, of voting for the people and the laws that you live under, that we take for granted – that’s exactly when Satan was snatching away from America rule by the consent of the governed,” she shouted.

The fact that the dates of the the Mayflower Compact and the 2020 election vaguely line up was apparently all the proof Bachmann needed of a conspiracy between Satan and the Democratic party.

It’s clear that Satan was “stealing from us our right to vote”, Michele Bachmann said. “I am highly offended, insulted, angry, and I’m not going to stand for the fact that my vote was stolen!”

She continued, to rapturous applause: “From the political point of view, from the legal point of view, from the moral point of view, America is not on board with Joe Biden as the next president of the United States.

“We’re not there! And the reason we’re not there is because we’re not that dumb in the United States,” a claim that surely beggars belief coming from someone who thinks the Bible predicted a Black trans Marxist revolution.

“We know, without a shadow of a doubt, this man did not get the votes on election night,” she shouted at the audience. “It didn’t happen. Donald Trump got the votes on election night. So why would we be like drones, chumps, and fools to go along with this?”

Unfortunately Bachmann will have to find a way to do so, since God hasn’t stepped in to “smash the delusion” with his holy iron rod like she asked him to.