Virgin Island’s Millie on societal pressure, coming out and family reaction: ‘A weight lifted off my shoulder’
Virgin Island star Millie (Channel 4)
Virgin Island participant Millie took a big step on the show, coming out as a lesbian to her co-stars – and in turn, the nation.
She is one of a handful of LGBTQ+ participants this series, alongside Tegan, Joy and Ellen, as revealed earlier in the series. But during last week’s episodes, Millie decided to come out as a lesbian, having previously identified as bisexual.
Speaking to PinkNews, Millie explains she decided to come out to her co-stars, and on-camera, because she felt “safe”.
“I think from doing all the group workshops and getting to know these people, because everything’s so intimate with each other, every day I was just like, ‘There’s other people here that are lesbian, and that’s fine,” she says.
“So I was like, why not address it now in a safe environment and let me work through those issues and then just explain it?
“I felt really good, because everyone’s just so supportive.”
Millie explained on the show that she felt a pressure to go through life in a heteronormative way – get married, have kids, you know the drill – which made her struggle to come to terms with how she really felt.
But now, she says, “there’s a lot of pressure come off my shoulders”.
“My older sister is disabled, so she’s not had relationships or anything because she’s got the mindset of someone younger,” Millie tells us.
“There was definitely that pressure of, you’ve got to be straight to have kids. And I know you can have kids as LGBT, but it’s a longer process, fees are involved, stuff like that.
“But I definitely feel a weight lifted off my shoulder, because I know one day I will, but I don’t have to do it in the next three years.”
‘I think I was just blindsided up until that moment of coming out’
Millie is one of the youngest cast members, being 22 when she was on the show. Some viewers may have been questioning why she went on the show given her age. But Millie says there’s also pressure from her peers to lose her virginity.
“You see it everyone, don’t you?” she tells us. “You’ve got access to mobile phones. You’ve got your mates going, ‘I’ve lost it,’ and it’s like, how have you done that so easy?
“There’s definitely a pressure from the outer society. In my opinion, a lot of older people were having kids at 20, and now it just seems like people are have kids at more like 30, 32.”
While on the surface, viewers may tune in expecting to see a group of young people wanting to lose their virginities, the show is actually much bigger than that. Working with experts and coaches, the contributors go on journeys of self-discovery, often gaining so much more that they can return to their home lives with.
Millie tells us: “There was a lot of unaddressed issues of mine. I think it was more for me just to explore new things. I knew I wanted to explore the female anatomy much more on another person as well. I think I was just blindsided up until that moment of coming out.
“And I just wanted to get the old Millie back – the one that just didn’t care, the one that was like, ‘Yeah, let’s do this. Who cares what anyone’s thinking?'”
It sounds like she’s definitely got that mindset back, as she says anyone in a similar position should just think “f*** it”.
“One of the biggest things is you do not really need to care about anyone else’s opinions,” she says. “You don’t actually need to feel this pressure that we had before going on the show, just be yourself. You only live once, so why not make the most of it?”
She says: “I’ve definitely become much more confident in myself. I’ve definitely found the younger Millie that I was hoping to find, and not really caring.”
She says people should “train your brain out of negativity” by giving yourself compliments. “Obviously there’s still going to be negative moments, but just making yourself positive and loving little things,” she advises.
And while she’s not really interested in the opinions of others, of course things are different when it comes to her family. Thankfully, everyone has been very supportive.
‘They’re glad that I addressed that’
She says: “My family is quite large, especially on the cousins side of things, so you don’t really get to speak to them. But everyone seems to have just connected back again.
“I’ve had messages from them saying, ‘I’m so proud of you. Not everyone would do something like this.’ It’s been really nice.
“I’m watching it with my parents. I have been watching it through my fingers. But it’s just been really nice.”
Things got emotional during her coming out episode, she says. “My mum started bawling her eyes out, and then I started crying. I was like, ‘Oh my God!’
“I think for them, it’s just something that they’re quite proud of, and they’re glad that I addressed that.”
The final two episodes of Virgin Island air tonight (18 May) from 9pm on Channel 4.
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