Frankie Grande says he faced hate from gay men for embracing his femininity

Frankie Grande

Frankie Grande has spoken about the “femmephobia” he says he has experienced from within the LGBTQ+ community, saying writing his memoir, Supergay, helped him finally make sense of it.

Speaking backstage at Titanique on Broadway, Grande said: “I didn’t understand why I got so much hate from gay men, and it’s actually femmephobia,” he said, as per Gayety. “I didn’t understand that.”

That realisation became the basis his memoir’s most personal chapters. “What is it about me that is so scary to members within our own community?” he asked.

Grande said he has never felt the need to present in traditionally masculine ways. “I choose to present myself as female oftentimes, very often, not as a drag queen, but because I love makeup and I love heels and I love glitter and I love tight revealing outfits,” he said. “These things are shocking and defy even queer gender norms.”

“When I became a pop star, my very first thing I wanted to do was be Britney Spears. I wanted to be Madonna,” he said. “I didn’t want to be a male character.”

Writing the memoir also led him to conclude that the backlash he faces is rooted in misogyny as much as homophobia.

“It’s because I’m a man who chooses to present female. And why would you do that? Because women are deemed lesser,” he said. “I am a victim of misogyny as a fem-presenting man, which is crazy to me… The way that I’m hated is more in line with the way women are hated than the way gay men are hated.”

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