How often do people have sex?

A study shows that women want more, and better, sex and they want it right now.

Findings include that women are having sex 2.4 times per week on average, but wish it was as often as 5.3 times.

This begs the question: How often are people getting it on per week? Let’s dive in, shall we?

It’s not the quantity that counts (Netflix/She’s Gotta Have It)

In our hypersexualised world, it’s hard not to think about sex. We see it in ads, music videos, movies. Whether we’re in a relationship or single, it’s normal to look at our sex lives and wonder if we’re satisfied and whether we could be having more sex.

Wondering if one’s getting enough sex is a years-old question. It’s easy to look at the neighbour’s plate and think we’re having too much or not enough, and wonder what is normal when it comes to sexual urges.

Several studies have tried to come up with the perfect answer. A 2015 study by Science Daily found that couples who were having sex once a week were the happiest. And if you scroll through Google’s countless pages on the matter, you’ll find several articles saying that 2.5 times a week’s the charm. But that’s just scratching the surface.

The truth is, people in 2018 are thought to be having less sex then previous generations. Blame it on Twitter, Facebook, Game of Thrones—the point is, we have many distractions keeping us busy, and we’re more comfortable spending time alone, thanks to smartphones and tablets (or because of them, depending on how you look at it).

What women want

A new study shows that women want to have sex 5.3 times a week, but in reality they’re doing it 2.4 times a week.

The research, conducted by feminine hygiene brand Woo Woo, found that women are more often than not dissatisfied with their sex lives.

81 percent of women between the ages of 16 and 29 said they wanted better sex. 75 percent of women aged 30 to 44 agreed, as did 66 percent of women between 45 and 59. 53 percent of women over 60 said they wanted more sex, too.

And it would seem women of all ages are dissatisfied, with as many as 81 percent of the 16 – 29 year olds’ surveyed, 75 percent of 30 – 44 year olds, 66 percent of those aged 45 – 59 and EVEN 53 percent of over 60s females claiming they would like more sex than they are currently having.

An overwhelming 60 percent of the 3,000 women polled said they want better sex, too.

Communication is key

Communication is the key to a good sex life (Call me by your name)

There are no rules when it comes to libido. People are free to enjoy sex however they want, with who they want and as often as they want. There’s not a quota to follow, nor a dogma stating you must have sex at least once a week or else. Some people do need to have sex everyday to feel fulfilled, while others can go on a little bit longer than this, and both ways are valid.

In fact, experts, therapists and scholars all agree that the problem is not how often we have sex, it’s how we discuss it with our partners. Communication is the key to a fulfilling sex life and relationship, not quantity.

“If both people in the couple have a general desire to want to please their partner and participate in the relationship and talk about things openly, usually something can be negotiated that can satisfy both people,” said sex therapist Heidi Crockett.

Lonely in Singletown

Singles are not drowning in condoms, but why should they? (Bridget Jones’s Diary)

While we tend to fantasise about the Single Life™, the truth is, singles are not drowning in condoms either.

In 2017, the Kinsey institute of Indiana University found that the average single person usually had sex about 49 times per year, equating to less than once a week, while another survey from 2016 found that the average British man was getting down to business less than three times a month.

Again, those numbers are average and by no means a required minimum. Some singles are just not that into casual sex and would rather wait to be in a relationship to get frisky.

Moral of the story is: Talk about sex openly with your partner, adjust the quantity to what works for you and stop worrying about whether you are normal.