37 thoughts I had watching Drag Race season 15, episode five: ‘This judging is all. Over. The. Place’

RuPaul’s Drag Race season 15 returns with episode five but even clever editing can’t hide some seriously dodgy placements in this design challenge.

The capital of France is once again set on fire and we get a reading challenge – and to be honest, it’s the highlight of the episode, even if it’s four seconds long.

Spice adds a bit of spice to the werkroom (get it), RuPaul still has no idea what an amethyst is, Luxx Noir London snags her first win and Salina EsTitties somehow finds herself in the bottom with a perfectly serviceable design.

Here are 37 thoughts I had while watching episode five of RuPaul’s Drag Race, season 15.

• Werkroom time! It’s obvs incredibly sad seeing Spice by herself after Ru decided to go sugar-free for the rest of the seasoning, but this kind of ‘one half of a pair’ dynamic is going to be so interesting to watch play out. Will Spice slay the rest of the season(ing) by herself or hit flop city?
• Perhaps a sugar alternative is on the cards. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the season, Stevia!
• This newly running theme of the top three girls in each challenge categorising themselves as second and third behind the obvious winner of a challenge must be making the lives of the producers a blast.
• Mistress Isabelle Brooks calling out Marcia x3 for doing her own rankings and placing herself above Mistress is so good. Imagine someone saying “I had to let her know that it wasn’t giving, that she wasn’t giving,” about you.
• I do however feel awful that Marcia seems to be a bit of a punching bag this season – not least for actual RuPaul. Props to the Brady Bunch queen for standing up for MIB on socials, though.
• On that note, Drag Race fans have gone bonkers this season. MIB’s Instagram keeps being deleted because of ‘fans’ reporting it due to perceived tension on the show, but let me tell you something; as someone that’s currently rewatching season seven, the gworls used to actually FIGHT.

• Spice’s neck vein is literally about to pop telling Mistress Story Producer Isabelle Brooks that she thinks “there are girls that don’t deserve to be here over her. I’m not saying, we know who… it’s very obvious.”
• Again; because everything extra has to be cut, there’s not ‘werkroom chatter’ before Aura brings up who Spice thinks should have got the chop, so we can practically see the producer go: “Ask her about that, Aura!”
• Reading challenge is actually savage this season, and it tastes good – even if a lot of the girls only get one read.
• Luxx telling Marcia Marcia Marcia that she got her clothes from Marshall’s Marshall’s Marshall’s – HELP!
• Sasha Colby telling MIB that her initials stand for Major Intestinal Blockage – HELP!!
• Loosey LaDuca telling Malaysia to commit to her name and disappear like that flight? SOMEBODY HELP!!!

• Robin Fierce is getting Kandy Ho’d the house down this season. When was her last confessional?
• The queens have a big fat design challenge, based on the ‘Haus of Visage/ Matthews/ Kressley’ – can’t wait to find out who can’t sew! No HOUSE OF HAAAALL, though.
• Surely the actual house of Carson Kressley just smells like poppers and lube.
• The ‘I can’t sew’ count starts with Spice – I probably could have called that one.
• Malaysia also joining the ‘I can’t sew’ club but religiously denying that to the girls is iconic, actually.
• I have missed Ru’s walkthroughs (read: sabotage).
• No, Luxx, your team is not “taking the initiative” to change plan, Ru quite literally told you to do so.
• I wish Spice had told the room who she thought should have got the chop over Sugar. I want the girls to fight; We will never reach the heights of Party City again, I fear.
• Because of the shortened timings (have I mentioned those?) a lot of the ‘drama’ that the viewer gets to see seems to just come out of nowhere, when actually that’s not the truth, Ellen. It needs time to stew!

• The writing is on the wall for Miss Amy Thyst – can’t sew, “doesn’t have eyes” for fashion, etc. Need help packing?
• Why is Sasha Colby just standing in the middle of the room doing her makeup? And why am I peeing myself laughing over it?
• This photo of young Sugar and Spice is a jumpscare.
• Janelle Monáe!!! More like Janelle Mon-áte with that zebra print.
• Aura asking the viewers: “Can you wear rugs?” Like… yes, but why?
• Luxx’s look is literally gorgeous. Does not excuse her coming for Trinity the Tuck last week but still.

• Salina has to be in the top, right? She has a jacket, skirt and CAPE? That has armstraps? Potentially a win, right?
• Sasha Colby is a goddess. JLo is somewhere screaming, crying, throwing up.
• This judging is all. over. the. place. Why is Jax in the bottom? But Robin in the top?
• Luxx winning this episode five of Drag Race is correct though – and so is her saying: “I think I did a really good job.” Funny. Still need ten more wins to catch up to Trinity, though!

• Imagine my SHOCK as I slowly but surely put two and two together to get 15, and find out that a single season after Jorgeous won an episode of Drag Race for putting three napkins together, Salina is in the bottom? AND THEN TO BE PUT IN THE BOTTOM TWO?
• I never thought I’d say this but, I miss the Judges’ Deliberations! They gave us context, storylines, RuPaul saying “Bring back my girls,” in increasingly unhinged ways.
• They set Amethyst up with this song choice though. Aura saying: “Amethyst is doing her best” is actually shadier than saying she’s not doing very well.
• Ru telling Amethyst that she’ll always be a jewel is so funny, because mama, that’s a gemstone.

• I’d also like to point out that – five episodes in – the cast is now the same size as season eight’s was in its first episode.
• This is my weekly “I blame Todrick Hall”, for consistency.

RuPaul’s Drag Race season 15 continues next Friday 3 February at 8/7c on MTV in the US and will be available to watch on WOW Presents Plus on Saturday 4 January from 2am GMT in the UK.

• Drag
• Dec 09 2023

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