They say a picture is worth a thousand words, and the internet is convinced this picture says ‘David Bowie f**ked your dad’

David Bowie. (Christina Radish/Redferns)

Picture the scene: You’re spluttering in the attic after inhaling a plume of dust, rifling through boxes of yellowing photographs and files when you see it, a photograph of your father with David Bowie.

A shirtless Bowie, to be exact.

That was the scene on the reddit board r/OldSchool, when a user uploaded the photo with a nonplussed caption: “My dad with David Bowie in a vacation in Greece. 1988.”

My dad with David Bowie in a vacation in Greece. 1988. from OldSchoolCool

‘I’m jealous, I wish Bowie f***ked my dad, too!’

It sees the duo perched on a Sportster motorcycle, grinning away to the camera while the original poster’s father holds onto the bisexual singer’s thigh.

Well, you can see where this is going.

Countless redditors came out with theories that the “Starman” hitmaker slept with the OP’s father.

It’s the internet after all.

“I firmly believe that Bowie was the coolest being to grace this planet,” a user said. “And that he and your dad f**ked.”

“Definitely,” another user chimed, “look at the hand placement.”

Indeed, a user added: “Your dad’s hand positioning, he’s a power thruster.”

“It’s crazy,” another redditor remarked, “that by the time this picture was taken Bowie had already been famous for 20 years.

“And that he f**ked your dad.”

A fifth person lamented: “I’m jealous, I wish Bowie f**ked my dad, too!”

“There’s 89.69% chance your dad did the dirty with David Bowie,” yet another person commented. “Wear it proudly my friend.”

Redditor explains the truth behind kinda thirsty photo of his dad and David Bowie. 

In the avalanche of gossip rag-grade theories, the OP was prompted to explain the real story behind the snapshot.

He took to the r/TIFU, or “today, I f**ked up”, to explain that he “posted a picture of my dad with David Bowie with a bad title and everyone thinks my dad is gay and he and Bowie f**ked.”

“So back in 1988, my dad went with his friends to a vacation in Greece,” he explained.

“By extreme luck, somehow, my dad found David Bowie, riding on a rented motorcycle. My dad, who’s a really big fan of him, went to him and asked him if is it cool to take a picture with him.

“David agreed and even let my dad [sit] on the motorcycle behind him for the picture.

“My dad, overly excited, set down on the motorcycle really close to David, and one of my dad’s friends took the picture for him.”

The snap appears to be in front of a bakery in Ios Island, claimed one eagle-eyed local. The singer was long-rumoured to own property out on the sun-splashed island.