Comment: Ming, Monkeys and Minorities

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Couldn’t be bothered to watch the LibDem conference last week? Shame on you. Anyway here is what you need to know to get through a dinner party conversation.

Ming made a balls of a QA with members, he came across as an old man, he even said the Arctic Monkeys have sold more records than The Beatles! Which proves he was as out of touch in 1964 as he is now.

The LibDems promised more money for constituency parties that pick women or ethnic minority parties as they only have seven women MPs and no black or Asian ones.

But there will be no extra money for picking gay or lesbian candidates, which annoyed Stonewall. They only have one official gay MP but after the last year you never know with these people.

Charlie Kennedy made a lovely, confident speech to the conference and everyone started talking about how he might come back to the front bench or even the leadership.

Some people said he would and others said he would not. Charlie did refuse to shake Ming’s hand but he said it was no big deal but I think its because Ming stabbed him in the back and stole his job but then again Charlie was too drunk to talk half the time. So make up your own mind about that one.

The party had actual debate, unlike the other parties, and decided to drop their 50p higher rate of tax policy in favour of more green taxes that target pollution, and they said aviation tax would have to go up.

Lots of people made quite boring speeches, except Nick Clegg who made a great speech and is probably going to be the next leader after Ming.

At the end Ming made his big leader speech and although it started off a bit shaky, and he did look a bit old, he made some good points about Blair being an idiot and how torture and wars are bad and in the end it all turned out quite well and everyone went home happy.