A Russian man just got married to a pizza

A Russian man has tied the knot to the love of his life… and Vladimir Putin won’t be happy to hear she looks like a meaty twelve-incher.

Opponents of same-sex marriage often claim that it leads to a slippery slope – but in morally upstanding Russia, the country’s anti-gay laws clearly didn’t do much to dissuade one man.

The Mirror reports that a bizarre wedding ceremony took place in the city of Tomsk in central Russia, in which a man tied the knot with a pizza.

Sadly, Russian authorities refused to grant the couple an official marriage license (we wish we’d been in earshot for that conversation), so the pair had to make do with a ceremony in a local pizzeria.

The man explained: “At some point I realised that half of my friends were complaining about their better half, while the others were complaining about the lack of a better half.

So this happened – Russian man marries a pizza https://t.co/F5Vew2bDjb pic.twitter.com/2ue5k9HA4J

— Matt Cannon (@matthewlcannon) November 17, 2015

“Pizza would not reject you or betray you, and speaking quite frankly and sincerely, I love it.”

Vladimir Putin previously claimed that if men are allowed to marry other men, Russia would run out of children.

In an account of a meeting with David Cameron, he argued: “Russia’s future demography will have problems if gay people are allowed to marry each other, and the country will not have enough children to secure its future.”

We’re not sure man-pizza marriages are the bastions of procreation either.