Children’s TV show about man with a giant, out of control penis is – unsurprisingly – not going down well

John Dillermand

John Dillermand, a man with the world’s largest penis, is the star of a new children’s TV show. Yes, really.

Translating to “John penis-man”, John Dillermand premiered on DR, the Danish equivalent of the BBC, on Saturday (2 January), and is aimed at four to eight-year-olds.

With a giant, out of control penis, John is able to perform extraordinary feats such as rescue operations, use his appendage as an extendable dog lead and even swing it around above his head like a helicopter, allowing him to fly.

Looking at stills from John Dillermand, it appears that his penis is around four times his height. According to a 2016 study, the average cis man in Denmark is just over six feet tall. Therefore, going by very scientific calculations, John has a 24-foot penis (288 inches).

After years of bigots raging over even the tiniest hint of an LGBT+ character in children’s TV, it seems that for once cartoon critics have a point.

John Dillermand

John Dillermand protects children from a lion, using his penis. (DR)

Some have pointed out that a children’s TV show about an adult man with no control over his genitals could teach damaging lessons to kids, and that launching the animated series as the #MeToo movement gains traction in Denmark is insensitive at best.

Christian Groes, an associate professor and gender researcher at Roskilde University, told the Guardian: “It’s perpetuating the standard idea of a patriarchal society and normalising ‘locker room culture’… that’s been used to excuse a lot of bad behaviour from men.

“It’s meant to be funny – so it’s seen as harmless. But it’s not. And we’re teaching this to our kids.”

In response to criticism of its new cartoon, DR insisted that it could just as easily have made a programme “about a woman with no control over her vagina”.