Parenthood and belief in God prompt gay partners to make commitment

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Gay and lesbian couples are more likely to legalise their relationship and hold a commitment ceremony if they have children and strong religious beliefs, says a new University of Illinois study.

“Opponents of relationship recognition for same-sex couples often say that we have to protect children, or that same-sex relationships are against God,” said Ramona Faith Oswald, a University of Illanois associate professor of family studies, according to

“But this study suggests that lesbians and gay men who seek relationship recognition may be acting to protect their children and enact their own religious beliefs.”

190 people in same-sex cohabiting relationships were surveyed to gather a broad range of information about lesbian and gay persons living in downstate Illinois. Within this group, a sub sample of those who had legalised their same-sex relationship by making a will or granting power of attorney to their partner was identified.

Length of relationship was the strongest predictor that a couple would legalise their relationship. The study also showed that those who legalised their relationship were more likely to belong to a supportive religious congregation than non-legalising cohabiters.

“Faith communities may be important sources of legal education and advocacy for same-sex couples.”

From the ‘legalisers’, Oswald identified a still narrower group she called ‘ritualisers’, couples who had both legalised and participated in a commitment ceremony.

Having children and identifying religious beliefs as being very important in their daily life were the strongest predictors that a legalised couple would ritualise their relationship.

Most children in this study were from partners’ previous relationships.

“Couples may be using commitment rituals to build cohesion within stepfamilies as the role of gay and lesbian stepparents is often vague. Such ceremonies may help couples validate their sense of belonging and obligation to each other while also demonstrating to friends and relatives that they are a family unit.”

Most children in the study were teenagers at the time of the commitment ceremony.

“It’s interesting that couples were motivated to have a commitment ceremony when their children were at this developmental stage, just starting their own romantic explorations.
There may be an element of parenting going on here, with couples wanting to give their children an example of commitment by formalising their own. It’s an interesting question for future research.”

With the Religious Freedom and Protections Civil Unions Act under consideration in the Illinois House of Representatives, Oswald hopes this study will help to explain the motivations of gay and lesbian couples who wish to obtain civil unions.

“This study is an important contribution because it separates the legal and ritualistic aspects of solidifying a relationship. Not all same-sex couples want legal protection or ritual recognition. However, those who do appear to take these steps for the same reasons straight people often do – parenthood and religious commitment.”

“This common ground should be part of our policy debates.”

The study was published in the June issue of the Journal of Family Psychology.