Penis length is shorter when you measure yourself

In the least surprising news of the Century, turns out people have been lying about their penis size.

It’s not entirely their fault though – new research suggests that the bedrock of information about penis size is fundamentally wrong.

In the years that followed World War II, Doctor Alfred Kinsey performed research into the average penis length which was innovative for its time.

He found that the average penis length is 6.21 inches long, and 4.85 inches in girth.

However, Kinsey’s results were fundamentally inaccurate, and probably led to generations of men believing their penises were statistically ‘small’ when they were average.

Related: Two men both say they have the world’s largest penis

Not only was Kinsey reporting on college students who were all white, but (remarkably) he had presumed the measurements given by students were all accurate.

This data went on to be unquestioned for much of the 20th Century, arguably causing a downturn in the mental health of men who had penises shorter than the reported average.

Shorter Penis Syndrome and Penile Dysmorphic Disorder are two common ailments which arise for men with smaller penises who have likely been skewed by this inaccurate data.

Related: Male sex robots with unstoppable bionic penises are to go on sale



Modern studies have found more accurate ways to measure penis length.


Probably the most legit research ever conducted was by a team of British researchers led by David Veale in 2014, who invited men into a clinical setting to be measured by one of the team.

Their findings were startlingly lower in comparison to Kinsey’s: the average penis was found to be 5.16 inches in length and 4.59 inches in girth, over an inch shorter than Kinsey’s initial findings.

A couple of other studies conducted in more recent years have shown the average length to be 5.7 inches and 5.87 inches respectively, but it’s always important to remember that an accurate test in something like penis length is incredibly hard to conduct.

Related: This is where you can find Britain’s largest penises

The pressure of feeling aroused in a clinical setting, or (in one instance) being measured during a drinking sesh in a tent behind a Cancun nightclub on Spring Break, just doesn’t hold up to the requirements of clinical research.

Inaccurate information about penis length has caused a specific type of body dysmorphia that can lead to thoughts of suicide, when the objective fact is that most people suffering from woes about their penis length probably have an average penis anyway – or certainly one that isn’t abnormal like you think.