Ask the Aunties: Finding your queer, Black community

PinkNews’ in-house queer agony aunties Karnage and Lee are back on the couch offering sage, and sometimes brutally honest advice.

In this episode of Ask the Aunties, Lee and Karnage help out a reader who is struggling to find their own queer Black community.

After coming out for the first time, working out where and how to make LGBTQ+ friends doesn’t come immediately—especially as many queer spaces do not centre black or brown communities.

This is an image of two Black men sitting on a couch in a white room. The man on the left has long black hair and is wearing a white shirt. The man on the right has short hair and is wearing a tie dye shirt.
Auntie Lee and Auntie Karnage offer advice to someone seeking to find a queer Black community. (PinkNews)

Black and queer: Finding your community

The dilemma reads: “Any advice on navigating the queer scene as a black person?

“I don’t feel comfortable in some white queer spaces or straight black spaces.”

Ask the Aunties: Their response

“Just put yourself out there – find other queer, Black, people of colour and just kind of putting yourself in that scene,” Karnage says

“Naturally you’ll navigate to things you like,” he continues, “The more you do it you’ll just learn what you like, what you don’t like, the more you’ll meet people.”

“I’ve felt uncomfortable in queer, white spaces, I’ve felt uncomfortable in straight spaces, I’ve felt uncomfortable in queer, Black spaces,” Lee explains.

“I never really felt comfortable until I found my group and that’s what I say to anybody coming onto the scene,” he continues.

“It takes a long, long time before you can actually find people you can mesh with. Sometimes that’s people who look like you and sometimes it’s not.”

“The best thing you can do is find a group you can go out with, who have your back.”

Karnage adds: “You’ve got to be open to different people.”

“From my own experience,” Lee says, “I remember finishing high school and was like ‘I just need to find my gays.'”

“I had this imagination that everyone would be there with open arms and say: ‘We’ve been waiting for you’ and that did not happen.

“It takes time to find people that you can relate to, start to go out with and befriend people.”

“Find your group, honey,” Lee laughs.

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