What happened when I came out as trans to my wife
A trans woman has revealed the reactions she received after coming out to her wife.
Zoey told PinkNews that she has always felt something was off throughout her life, but suppressed those feelings for several years. But, four years ago, with the support of her wife, she built the courage to address her feelings and become her true self.
Her wife Kelly – they have been together for almost 12 years – was fully supportive when Zoey first spoke about her gender identity.
“On a selfish level, I was thinking: ‘Why didn’t you tell me sooner’,” Kelly said. “But on a selfless level, I can’t imagine how hard that was for you.”
Zoey was initially terrified of losing her family if things went wrong, but, as Kelly put it: “You can’t get rid of me.”
Things also went smoothly after she told her two children, George and Molly, who “just weren’t bothered”, Zoey said.
“They’ve been amazing, they just don’t see the world in a judgemental or a black-and-white way.”
Zoey’s transition hasn’t come without hardships, however. For the couple, one of the most infuriating parts of her journey is the questions they are asked.
“People seem to think that because I’m transgender, that they can get away with asking these sorts of questions,” Zoey said.
“The silliest question I’ve been asked is am I now attracted to men. I have never been attracted to men. Gender and sexuality are two completely different things.
“If you are transgender, it doesn’t mean that your sexual preferences are going to change.”
Despite the often-invasive questions and abuse, Zoey has remained strong for her family, although she admits: “It is exhausting and I’m not always as strong as I may appear on the outside, [but] he best part is, no secrets… and having the opportunity to be myself and figuring myself out.”
