Transgender Day of Visibility: 15 things trans people are sick of hearing

Illustrated rainbow pride flag on a pink background.

Being around a transgender person can be such a minefield.

What on earth do you say to a transgender human? Do transgender humans eat food like the rest of us? Do transgender humans have kidneys like us? Is it true that they all love Laverne Cox?

If you are confused about what you shouldn’t say to a transgender person, here is a handy guide for your next dinner party, trip to the shops, or wherever you are at risk of stumbling upon one of us.

Be warned, we are everywhere.

1. You are not a real man/woman

Oh really? Well, you would know better than us now wouldn’t you?

2. But…Chromosomes!

Believe me, we noticed how we are born. That is kind of the problem most of the time.

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3. Can I touch it/them?

I think we can all agree that sexually assaulting a person out of curiosity is no different than sexually assaulting someone for any other reason.

Even if you ask for permission first.

4. I heard that Germaine Greer said…

No. Just, no.

5. So are you going to get THE surgery?

Why are you so interested in the past, present and future of our genitals?

Some trans people actually do answer this, mostly because when the asker hears the total truth of the situation they will never ask anyone about anything ever again.

6. I have always wanted a trans friend!

Glad we can help you fill your stereotype quota.

7. Sorry, you cannot come, not because I have a problem! I don’t! Just *this other person* isn’t familiar with trans people

If you are going to stop someone doing something because they are trans, you are the problem. Not the hypothetical transphobic human shield you are hiding behind.

8. You need to shave

I think you will find that we are fine.

9. You don’t look manly/womanly enough!

Breaking down gendered restrictions is what we do.

10. You have to be one or the other! You can’t be both!

Being genderqueer or non-binary is a thing.

We know that because of all these genderqueer and non-binary people who are walking around.

11. Aren’t you just a butch lesbian?

You really have no idea do you?

12. I really hate the word cisgender!

Oh really? 1% of the population have a word that the other 99% don’t like? How will you all cope?

If you hate it so much, why don’t you just pick something else? Anything else?

13. You are so brave!

Thank you, would you like to discuss my tragic life so you can have that desperately needed intimate moment you always wanted?

14. So how do you have sex?

Do you really want to find out? Really?

15. I am voting for Donald Trump

To be fair, this is probably something you shouldn’t say to anyone.

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