Woman who came out as gay after being married to two men says she never realised she liked sex until now

Tink Fisher and Rachel Rubin Married

A woman who came out as a lesbian after being married to two men said she never realised she enjoyed sex until now.

Same-sex couple Tink Fisher and Rachel Rubin got married last year, but Fisher shared the story of how she came to terms with her sexuality after being married twice to men with Philadelphia magazine.

Fisher, who was raised “very Catholic”, married her first husband Joe when she was 27. Heartbreakingly, three days after they got engaged, they discovered that he had lung cancer and he passed away three weeks after the wedding.

She said: “At that point, I already had a child that was not from that marriage — I had my son, who’s now 17, when I was in college — and I thought there was no hope for me.

“Then I met a wonderful man, and he fit all the pieces: Catholic, Republican, and my family adored him.”

Having struggled with her sexuality all her life, she said: “[I] didn’t realize it was a struggle until I became an adult.” She said that shortly into her second marriage, she became aware of a “void”.

Fisher continued: “We had a baby, and our daughter was about one when I came to him and said: ‘Something still doesn’t feel right, and I don’t know what it is, and I know it’s not you, it’s me’… I knew in my heart, in my soul, in my gut, that something wasn’t right.”

Rubin was the exercise instructor at a class she had started doing. They became friends, but one night at Rubin’s house, they kissed.

Fisher said: “It was the most euphoric feeling I had ever felt. I told my husband within a week that I had kissed Rachel and that I thought I was a lesbian… I left my husband in November of 2016, and Rachel and I got engaged in March of 2019.

“We had a backyard wedding last September. We have three kids between us; she has a daughter who’s seven.”

Although she said that managing a blended family was the “hardest” part, the most surprising was that she discovered that she actually enjoyed sex.

She said: “I never knew I liked it. I remember crying through it and telling myself, ‘It will only take five minutes’. Now, I can’t get enough of it.

Another surprise, she said, was “how much talking [they] were going to do”.

She said: “I remember thinking in my marriage with my second husband, ‘I want to be able to talk about things’… When two women are together — I mean, we can talk for hours and days about how we’re feeling and how it makes everyone else feel, and there’s just so many emotions.”

The lesson Fisher said she’d learned from her journey with her sexuality and her family is that “everyone changes”.

She added: “It’s just being aware that there will be change, and you’ll have to work through it and support each other’s growth, even when it’s difficult.”