Gay man explains why he won’t visit his homophobic grandfather on his deathbed
![A family stands around their grandfather as he lies dying in a hospital bed](https://www.thepinknews.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/broken-down-family-QMQWMWA.jpg?w=792&h=416&crop=1)
A gay man has been declared “not the asshole” by Reddit after he said he didn’t want to visit his dying grandfather. (Envato Elements)
A gay man has explained why he won’t be visiting his homophobic grandfather on his deathbed in a heart-wrenching Reddit post.
The man shared his story on the sub-Reddit “Am I The Asshole” where he asked others if he was to blame for refusing to visit his dying grandfather.
The man said it was “very evident” that he “played for the same team” as a child, writing: “I wasn’t transgender but I wanted to be a princess and at some degree my parents would allow me to dress as a princess, paint my nails.”
He said he was “extremely feminine and gay” growing up – and his grandfather was not impressed. He tried to “straighten” the boy by making him watch and play football, baseball “and other masculine activities”.
Hilariously, the grandfather’s actions backfired – watching men playing football helped him realise he was gay.
“When I started getting older, I worked at a car wash and started buying my own clothes,” the gay man continued.
“Heels, dresses, make-up and I couldn’t stop, I was euphoric about the fact that no one can stop me from buying my stuff as long as I worked for it. My parents didn’t like it but they accepted it.”
Gay man’s homophobic grandfather calls him a ‘fruit loop’
“My grandpa on the other hand wanted nothing from me, doesn’t look at me and behind my back calls me names and a ‘fruit loop’.
“Point is he is dying and my parents want me to see him but I don’t want to, that man never said anything to me that was encouraging and no [I don’t care] if he ‘fought for my freedom’, I’m tired of giving praise to old men who ‘fought for my freedom’ then get mad when I express it.”
Reddit was quick to declare that the gay man was “not the asshole” in the situation, with many rightly pointing out that his grandfather doesn’t have a right to see his grandson.
“Just because someone is on their death bed does not give them a right to see anyone if that person is not up to it, especially if they have been intolerant and jerk towards them for years,” one Reddit user wrote.
Another wrote: “Your grandfather didn’t love you as you were and tried to make you someone you’re not. Cutting him off is a natural consequence of this behaviour.”