No, Nicola Sturgeon didn’t call Liz Truss ‘as much use as a marzipan dildo’

Nicola Sturgeon

We are incredibly sorry to burst your bubble, but former Scottish first minister Nicola Sturgeon didn’t refer to Liz Truss as a ‘marzipan dildo’ in a series of leaked WhatsApp messages. We know: it’s disappointing.

On Thursday (Jan 26), an account called @politicoforyou tweeted: “Nicola Sturgeon urged to apologise after leaked WhatsApp messages describing Matt Hancock as “weaker than a nuns p**s,” Liz Truss as “about as much use as a marzipan dildo,” and referring to Suella Braverman as “shitler.”

At the time of writing, the Nicola Sturgeon marzipan dildo tweet has been retweeted 12,000 times and had 10 million views. The only problem is: it’s not actually true. The @politicoforyou account is clearly marked as ‘satire’ in its profile information.

However, there is a crumb of truth to the tweet. It’s riffing off a real news story about Sturgeon calling former prime minister Boris Johnson a “f**king clown” and “f**king excruciating” in WhatsApp messages sent during the COVID pandemic.

Where did the fake Nicola Sturgeon ‘marzipan dildo’ comment come from?

If it sounds a bit familiar, that might be because ‘marzipan dildo’ is an insult originally used in political comedy show The Thick of It. Peter Capaldi’s character Malcolm Tucker refers to a minister who’s irked him as “about as much use as a marzipan dildo.”

Amongst the many people to take the satirical tweet at face value was comedian Jason Manford, who tweeted: “So rare to agree wholeheartedly with every word a politician said.”

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Another X user who was taken in said: “You know I told you that Nicola called Johnson a f**king clown? Well, It gets better. She also said that Truss was as much use as a marzipan dildo.

What did Sturgeon say about Boris Johnson?

A close-up of Boris Johnson's face
Boris Johnson. (AFP via Getty/ ADRIAN DENNIS)

On the same day that the marzipan dildo tweet was released, the official UK COVID-19 Inquiry was shown messages between the former First Minister and her chief adviser Liz Lloyd, strongly criticising the then Prime Minister Boris Johnson when he announced another national lockdown in October 2020.

In the messages, Sturgeon said Boris Johnson’s address to the nation was “f***king excruciating” and that the UK government’s communications were “awful”.

She also told Lloyd: “His utter incompetence in every sense is now offending me on behalf of politicians everywhere,” and Lloyd agreed, saying that she was “offended” on behalf of special advisers everywhere.

Ms Sturgeon replied: “He is a f**king clown.”

So there you have it. Marzipan dildos are out, and clowns are in. Also, don’t believe everything you read on X.