Elliot Page shares ‘biggest joy’ since coming out as trans: ‘It’s indescribable’

Elliot Page smile at the camera while wearing a white button up shirt, a black bow tie and black suit jacket

Elliot Page has opened up about everything from the lessons he learned from transitioning to encountering bullying as a kid in an expansive essay. 

The Umbrella Academy star penned a lengthy, emotional article for Esquire’s summer issue in which they reflected on their journey since coming out as transgender in December 2020. They shared that the “biggest joy” they’ve had since coming out publicly and openly sharing their journey with fans is just “really seeing yourself”. 

“I know I look different to others, but to me, I’m just starting to look like myself,” Page wrote. “It’s indescribable, because I’m just like, there I am. And thank God. Here I am.”

He continued: “So the greatest joy is just being able to feel present, literally, just to be present. 

“To go out in a group of new people and be able to engage in a way where I didn’t feel this constant sensation to flee from my body, this never-ending sensation of anxiety and nervousness and wanting out.

“When I say I couldn’t have ever imagined feeling that way, I mean that with every sense of me.”

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Page admitted later in the essay that they didn’t expect their coming out as trans to be such a big deal. They said the “quality of the response” was what they expected: “love and support from many people and hatred and cruelty and vitriol” from others. 

“I came out as gay in 2014, and it’s different,” Page wrote. “Transphobia is just so, so, so extreme. The hatred and the cruelty is so much more incessant.”

The Inception star also opened up about being the victim of bullying when he was growing up, attending a different school every year of high school. He thought that it would “lessen” when he left Halifax to move to Toronto in grade eleven, but he said that “wasn’t the case at all”. 

“Bullying puts you in a place where, later, you have so much unlearning to do,” Page said. “If you’re getting teased and made fun of and called names on a daily basis, there’s no way that’s not going to get inside of you—particularly when you’re already feeling so much shame.”

They added: “Nobody even needs to open their mouth and you’re already feeling it.”

Elliot Page said those kids who bullied him probably “wouldn’t remember it” because it “didn’t mean anything to them”, but the horrific experiences left him with a “whole bunch of s**t” that he had to “dig through and unlearn” as an adult. 

When Page came out as trans, they shared on social media that it was a “remarkable” moment where they felt like they could “finally love who I am enough to pursue my authentic self”. Page added they’ve been “endlessly inspired by so many” people in the trans community who are “ceaselessly” working to better this world. 

Since then, Elliot Page has been a tireless defender of the LGBTQ+ community, using his vast platform to speak out against vile anti-trans legislation and attacks against trans youth.

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