Drag Race UK star Baby breaks silence on full extent of mental health issues while filming show

A promotional still of Drag Race UK's Baby smiling as she wears a silver-white dress and stands in front of a white curtain backdrop

London-based drag queen Baby has addressed her departure from season four of Drag Race UK on social media, saying what viewers saw on the show was a “very small window” into her struggle.

Posting a statement on Twitter, Baby recalled how she had panic attacks regularly during her time in the competition and relied on the support of her show sisters when they struck.

“The emotions that came out on episode five were a very small window into what was actually going on for me, and the reality is, I was really unwell,” she wrote.

“A lot of what you saw on camera was me ‘switching it on’ and I’d gotten to a point where that was no longer sustainable for me and my well-being.

“I was having aggressive and frequent panic attacks, then just walking into the work room, a challenge, the runway, or untucked acting like NOTHING had happened.”

Baby recounted two instances in which she broke down and turned to Sminty Drop (during episode 4) and Cheddar Gorgeous for their support.

“The morning of the improv challenge, Sminty hugged me because she could tell how unhappy I was and I burst into tears before wiping my face and getting in front of cameras like, ‘Right, girlies, let’s get into these improv characters.’

“That same episode, Cheddar held me in their arms as I had a panic attack right before we went into untucked and I sat there trying my best to hold my shit together, more worried about how my actions may be perceived by those watching at home than thinking about what was good for me.”

Lairy Poppins (BBC)

The South London queen also stood by her decision to put herself first in volunteering to be eliminated after she lip-synced against Dakota Schiffer.

“The psychological requirements of being on a show of that scale meant that I wasn’t able to do my job to the best of my ability. So, rather than stay and misrepresent my skill level and artistic capabilities, I decided to go home and take care of myself.”

She came to the conclusion the night before the Rusical; “when I was in my hotel room doubled-over in crippling pain from my anxiety”.

“Backstage just before we walked the runway in our musical looks I remember looking over at Le Fil and covering my mic to tell them, ‘I can’t be here any more, I need to go home’, feeling like the importance of my well-being was a dirty secret that needed to be hidden in order for us to make this show.”
Fans have offered waves of support for the queen underneath the tweet, praising Baby’s honesty and openness, saying it has helped “thousands” struggling with similar issues.

Baby – in true superstar fashion – posted a separate video of one of her trademark sickening performances with the caption: “Btw this is how I’m doing.”

She has released a song detailing her experiences titled “Theatre!”

As RuPaul would say: ‘Available now on iTunes.’