Prince Harry’s frostbitten penis was saved by this miracle cream
Prince Harry has revealed in his new book that he used an Elizabeth Arden cream on his frostbitten penis.
The segment from his autobiography, Spare has shocked, entertained and disgusted the internet in equal measure.
A clip from the audiobook has gone viral on Twitter, with one post captioned: “This book is a Freudian nightmare.”
In the audio clip from his much-talked about book, Spare, he says: “My penis was oscillating between extremely sensitive and borderline traumatised.”
“The last place I wanted to be was frostnipistan,” he adds.
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This book is a Freudian nightmare. pic.twitter.com/PPJtjPXWvq— Dominic Wakeford (@domwakeford) January 11, 2023
He then goes on to say he’d been trying home remedies to help his frost bitten nether regions, including one recommended by a friend.
And this is where the story takes a turn as he talks about his late mother, Princess Diana.
His friend suggests using Elizabeth Arden, to which he replies “my mum used it on her lips, and you want me to put that on my todger?”.
“I found a tube, and the minute I opened it the smell transported me through time. I felt as if my mother was right there in the room and I took a smidge and applied it… down there,” he says.
Somebody replied to the post with a meme reading: “I miss ten seconds ago when I didn’t know this thing existed.”
Another said: “Lizzie Arden 8 hour cream is great for pretty much everything, but I don’t need to hear this.”
While somebody else tweeted that the Elizabeth Arden cream is “going to be flying off the shelves”.
He doesn’t divulge which exact cream he uses in the book, is it the same one Princess Diana used for her lips? Was it a lip balm?! Or was it one of the brand’s moisturisers.
People seem to think it’s the miracle Eight Hour Cream Skin Protectant, which “calms, protects and hydrates”.
The product is described as a “versatile formula” that “goes beyond moisturisation, working wonders to shape brows, add shine to cheeks, soothe dry hands, smooth cuticles and nails, and more”.
We’re guessing the “and more” includes frostbitten penises – they should rename it the “Eight Hour Todger Cream” in honour of his revelation.
His book, Spare is available on hardback, Kindle and audio from Amazon.
Prince Harry addresses sexuality speculation in new book
In the book, the prince reflects on frequently overhearing members of the public question if he was gay, while waiting in line in the supermarket.
He says he has been tempted to respond to speculation about his sexuality.
“More than once I watched customers read about me, overheard them debating me,” he recalls.
“In 2015 I overheard them frequently discussing whether or not I’d ever marry. Whether or not I was happy. Whether or not I might be gay.
“I was always tempted to tap them on the shoulder… ‘Ello,‘” he shares.
He describes calling out an elderly couple for heatedly discussing his life choices with a cashier.
“I stepped forward, showed my face, cleared my throat: ‘Excuse me. Not sure what’s going on here, but I don’t think you should be speaking to her like that.'”
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