Troye Sivan didn’t want to be gay for the first 15 years of his life: ‘I was terrified of it’

Troye Sivan in Concert

Troye Sivan has revealed that he spent the first 15 years of his life not wanting to be gay, and said he was “terrified of it”.

In an interview with Harper’s Bazaar he spoke about the continuing journey of coming out, from telling people he was gay to still figuring out who he is.

He said: “Coming out as gay is one thing. And then coming out as the person you want to be is a whole other separate journey.

“Although I came out as gay to my family, there was still a lot I hid: the way I wanted to move, dress, speak.

“Growing up in a society where I didn’t want to be gay for the first 15 years of my life, I was terrified of it.

“That’s still in there and I’m personally trying to work it out. I’m enjoying this process of pushing myself, figuring out, Am I into this? Am I not? There are no rules.”

Troye Sivan The Bloom Tour

Troye Sivan performs at the Margaret Court Arena on September 25, 2019 in Melbourne, Australia. (Mackenzie Sweetnam/Getty)

Troye Sivan said starting conversations about LGBT+ issues is the “least he can do”.

Sivan also said that being an LGBT+ icon was never part of his plan for his career, but he has seen a shift in his audience since coming out.

He continued: “I never set out to be this gay pop idol. I remember all these young girls coming to my shows and thinking: ‘I know they know I’m gay, so why are they coming? They must like the music — awesome.’

“And then after ‘My My My!’ and ‘Bloom’ had come out, suddenly those first few rows got younger, but at the back of the venue there were older gay guys and I was thinking, ‘This is an interesting shift.’

“But it’s never been something I’ve strived for. I’m just grateful that people care.”

Asked if he ever gets tired of questions about his sexuality, or about coming out, he said he feels a responsibility to continue talking about.

He added: “As long as people are asking about it, it means there’s still hunger for that conversation.

“I’m in a pretty privileged place. I live in West Hollywood, where everyone is gay, and I’ve got supportive family and friends.

“For me to be sick of talking about a subject that for other people is still so real and has an impact on their daily lives… I kind of think it’s the least I can do.”