35 thoughts I had watching RuPaul’s Drag Race season 16, episode 14: ‘Mama, she came to win’

RuPaul in RuPaul's Drag Race season 16

RuPaul’s Drag Race season 16, episode 14 gags the remaining queens by giving us the first top three for over four years, and offers a stunning conclusion to one queen’s narrative arc.

It’s all to play for as Sapphira Cristál, Plane Jane, Nymphia Wind and Q enter the final competitive episode of season 16 – but they’re just as gagged as we are when they find out that it’s not a Ru-mix performance and a final before them, but a memoir/ interview/ branding challenge.

We get a phenomenal conclusion to Nymphia’s self-doubt storyline, and one queen hits the house just before the finale. And, a lipsync smackdown reunion of epic proportions is teased. Slay.

Here are 35 thoughts I had while watching RuPaul’s Drag Race, season 16, episode 13.

  • I’m very sad that Morphine didn’t make it to the top five, and honestly think she should have snatched at least one win during her time in season 16.
  • Sapphira’s right, though – these other queens are living that she had to lipsync.
  • Personally, however, I live for the way Sapphira calmly, professionally and motherly-ly gathers the girls when they try to come for her.
  • Q genuinely thinks that every single win that hasn’t gone to her, should have done, and it’s so wild to see.

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  • I just realised that these girls don’t know if this season is a top four, or if there’s another elimination this episode… If Q gets eliminated this week, she will literally combust. Funny, though.
  • The girls have to get in ‘swimsuit drag’ and lipsync to ‘Kitty Girl’ while underwater. I know they’re complaining but like… remember when they had the queens actually jumping into a tank of water. Detox, I miss you.
  • The maxi challenge is revealed: inspired by Ru’s memoir House of Hidden Meanings – which is very good, by the way – the queens have to write their own. But then Ru reveals that the challenge also includes a photoshoot and interview portion? I’m exhausted watching it.
  • Nymphia is, once again, pretending that she’s bad at the challenge. Can’t wait for her to win.
  • Sapphira is writing her book and I just want to say, I would listen to that queen narrate any audiobook. I’d listen to her narrate the dictionary. I’d listen to her narrate War and Peace.
  • It’s photoshoot time, and Nymphia’s first. Her title is Breaking Wind: The Art of Letting Go, and I’m fast realising that this really isn’t a photoshoot challenge; it’s an ‘impress RuPaul challenge’. I miss the Ru-mix challenge, tbh.
  • Nymphia’s shoes are the size of my head.
  • Q is immediately having all of her decisions questioned RE her cover, which presumably means that she’ll be heading home. Oh nooo, I write sarcastically.
  • Ooooooh Sapphira is so clever. Her book title is Sluefoot, which is a joke Ru has been making all season. Mama, she came to win. Also, her seventy four foot ponytail is so c*nt.
  • Plane is so so so good at drag. Ru loves her. Me too.
  • This next part of the challenge is an interview with icon, legend, star, Matt Rogers. Plane is first, and she drags the girls harder than New York Tiffany Pollard in that one series of Celebrity Big Brother.
  • I do have to say, despite Plane purporting that she’s the head b*tch in charge and doesn’t care about her competitors, she is still obsessed with Amanda, however many episodes later.
  • Sapphira’s turn, and once again, I could listen to her all damn day. She gives us vulnerability, she gives us grace, she gives us wisdom. Werk.
  • Q’s interview happens.
  • Joking, she opens up about her childhood growing up in a low-income household. And as (the very sexy) Matt Rogers says, this does indeed endear me to her.
  • Nymphia is such a star. She’s just so captivating, and has such an interesting past and perspective on how drag has helped her personally. I know she was nervous about this challenge, but she’s so naturally charming, I think she’s got it in the bag.
  • Q thinks she’ll be in the top. Shock.
  • The girls talk about their first impressions of each other, and I just remembered Sapphira’s breastplate in the first episode. Those titties were so close together.
  • Season 16’s top four is actually so fun, I do like all of these queens. Even Q.
  • Why are they suddenly calling it ‘the semi-finals’? They’ve literally never said that before on Drag Race.
  • Is that Ronan Farrow? Mama is pumped and bronzed!
  • Runway category is fans, and not to be rude but I think it’s clear the girls have run out of clothes. Q’s look is very simple compared to her usual looks, which have mostly been stellar.
  • I don’t really get how Nymphia’s look is a ‘fan’ look apart from the fact that she has one in her hand. Plane’s look is gorge, as is Sapphira’s.
  • Critiques-wise, the judges don’t live for Q, but very much do for Nymphia. Are we getting a final redemption for Nymphia’s self doubt arc? It’s been so gorgeous to see her just relax a bit this week.
  • Plane does the whole ‘bitchy persona’ speech on the stage, and I’m not doubting that that’s the truth; I’m just saying that it’s a very convenient, pre-written, satisfying reality TV arc.
  • Sorry, I can’t get over how different Ronan Farrow looks to the last time he was on the show.
  • Nymphia snatches her third win!!! Nymhpia stans, let’s go!!!! Honestly, deserved.
  • Sapphira is safe, and mentions that she auditioned FOR THIS SHOW FOR ELEVEN YEARS before making it on???? What on Earth were production thinking?
  • Plane and Q are absolutely mothertucking gagged that they have to lipsync. This will be the first top three on a regular season since season twelve!
  • Plane turns it, to be honest, though Q puts up a great fight, and Q just misses out on the grand finale. I think she thought Ru was going to pull a double shantay. I did too, for a second. I’m kind of very gagged. What a stunning top three, though.
  • Next week’s episode is teased to be the reunion in the form of a giant lipsync smackdown. Love!

RuPaul’s Drag Race season 16 continues on Friday on MTV in the US and on Saturday on WOW Presents Plus internationally. You can read last week’s recap here.