36 thoughts I had watching All Stars 8, episode eight: ‘I would have been raging’

All Stars 8‘s first truly shocking elimination decides the top four of the season, with a previous winner-inspired design challenge and a healthy dose of treachery.

It seems like All Stars 8 might finally be coming to a head, as the top five scramble for a spot in next week’s challenge. It’s also worth nothing that, minus Heidi, that top five is a group that consists of exactly who everyone thought was going to be there after the season’s first episode.

There’s no mention of whether this season will have a top four or three, so for all these queens know, next week could be the finale! It’s not though, and the queens finally clash when it comes to lipstick choices.

Jimbo sails through yet again, Jessica continues her reign as an unbothered queen and Kandy finds herself in her first real spot of bother – it’s good telly.

Here are 36 thoughts I had while watching All Stars 8, episode eight: Forensic Queens.

• Upon re-entering a distinctly Kahanna Montrese-free Werk Room, Alexis Michelle profusely thanks last week’s winner, LaLa Ri, for saving her. Remember that, dear reader.
• I’m taking a bullet point to commend Alexis for turning a p**s-soaked jockstrap, fisting glove and red hanky into a ballgown for last week’s runway. That’s drag.
• Last week’s lipsticks are revealed to be four for Kahanna and one for Alexis – and then Kandy goes full troll by telling Alexis that Kahanna voted for herself, and Kandy voted for Alexis.
• She’s lying, but I’ve not seen a face crack faster than Alexis’s for a hot minute and it’s comedy.
• The girls in the Werk Room have hit delulu point. It’s funny.

• I need to never see a piece of baloney in the same room as Jimbo ever again.
• No video message this week! Straight into Ru telling the girls that they need to create a “signature look” based on a past All Stars winner – Trixie Mattel, Trinity the Tuck, Monét X Change, Shea Coulée and Kylie Sonique Love.
• It’s here that I’d like to ask what’s going on with the Alaska erasure this season? She didn’t appear last episode (Lil’ Poundcake was her creation) and she doesn’t have a box this episode! I’m suing.
• Miss Ri assigns the boxes, so she picks Shea Coulée, the winner of All Stars 5. Alexis gets Trinity (and the editors are shady for flashing up Trinity’s All Stars 7 entrance look), Jessica gets Sonique, Kandy gets Monét and Jimbo gets Trixie – everyone seems happy!
• Surely Trixie’s box is just semi-ugly floral print fabric, and I wish Kandy had just got a box full of sponges. That would have been funny.
• The pacing of this season is so weird. Jimbo won three challenges and I kind of feel like we’ve not had a storyline about her for a while. Although, the storyline this episode is clearly just that she’s a procrastinator, which isn’t exactly gripping TV.
• One of my favourite Drag Race tropes is when they absolutely Frankenstein together a soundbite. Alexis explaining that Jimbo needs to crack on, despite delivering looks, sounds like it’s been taken from seven different conversations.
• I just remembered Alexis’s ‘turquaze’ corset that she went blind stoning from season nine. That was camp.

• Raven is here to give some walkthroughs – with Shannel? After a slot as one of All Stars 8‘s lipsync assassins, it’s clear that someone’s getting a soft launch for All Stars 9.
• These walkthroughs are sending me to Snooze City. We do, however, get an admission from LaLa that she’s never sewed a gown. Uh oh.
• This is an exceptionally long Werk Room segment. Long enough for Jimbo to ask if Kandy’s hookups “slap her titties” around during sex. I’m laughing.
• Here we go. Alexis and Jimbo form an alliance, which is a very good deal for the former.
• This is a renewed call to crown Jessica Wild and use the remaining run time of the season to listen to her talk about literally anything.
• Oh the girls are stressed. Kandy has to restart, Jimbo’s design is too complicated, LaLa makes a finished dress that she decides to discard!

• The next day, LaLa says she’s sewn a gown without a zipper, which is objectively hilarious, and Kandy’s worried that her look is too simple.
• Jimbo’s right; if she lands in the bottom, she’s chopped. Luckily production seem to be so far up her a** that they can see out of her mouth.
• LaLa tells Alexis that if she wins, not to forget about her. LaLa also tells her confessional that she knows Alexis has her back. Remember that, dear reader. And with that, it’s finally runway time!
• Kandy’s sleek black dress looks gorgeous, but she’s right; it is very simple.
• Jimbo’s Trixie look is terrifying! I am terrified! Great construction, but terrifying!
• LaLa’s orange gown is gorgeous but I’m quite distracted by the fact her hairline seems to be halfway towards to back of her head.
• Oh Alexis Michelle, you have nailed that. A gorgeous pageant gown; she could have brought that from home.
• Finally, Jessica Wild’s Sonique-inspired tropical gown is stunning. Obsessed with Ru just saying: “Jessica” as feedback.

• Critique time; Kandy gets the ‘too simple’ critique, and Jimbo gets positive feedback on her nightmare floral Trixie number. Could it be another win for the Canadian queen?
• Ross Matthews’s critiques go on for longer than Liz Truss’s time as prime minister. Get to the point, bestie.
• LaLa doesn’t get particularly bad critiques and Jessica gets overtly positive ones. It feels like Miss Kandalina Moose could be in trouble …
• And she is. Kandy and LaLa both get called for the bottom – but both have one win and one bottom. Interesting that there’s no ‘If you’re not in the top, you’re in the bottom’ rule this season.
• Now Miss Alexis Michelle, I know you’re not going to do something stupid with this lipstick choice.
• NICKY DOLL AS A LIP SYNC ASSASSIN? Sis. .. Yes, she’s a host but she’s also never won a lipsync.
• Alexis wins and has to send either LaLa or Kandy home. She makes a weird Coco Montrese reference and then decided to eliminate Kandy.
• APART FROM SHE DOESN’T, SHE ELIMINATES LALA RI. THE GIRL WHO SAVED HER LAST WEEK. Alexis Michelle, you are so so so unserious. She didn’t deserve to be sent home. I would have been raging.

All of this season’s Fame Games looks are available here.

RuPaul’s Drag Race: All Stars 8 continues on Fridays on Paramount+ in the US and on WOW Presents Plus in the UK and internationally.

• TV
• Dec 16 2023

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